Casts are OFF!

We made the trip to Philly today. Tomorrow marks 3 weeks from his
amputation surgery. They took off the casts with a minimum of fuss.
Thanks to Ezekiel who found a Mr P*tato head and was very entertaining.
After they removed the gauze he fearfully took a look and then "Cool!"
He was very pleased with the results as were his doctors. He was
expecting lots of blood and pain as they took off the bandages (the arm
was worse)
The doctor decided that the stitches look good enough to keep the casts
off....may start putting weight on them...and best of all
He had a shower tonite and could get all of him wet AT THE SAME TIME!
It has been awhile.
They added extensions to his fixator...now he is actually armed and
dangerous...gotta get pictures of that!
Then to top off the good feelings of tonite, he proceeded to scratch his
knee "it ITCHES!!!" and did not want me to put on lotion to soothe the
itch. Almost had a perfectly good day!
Ah well, we will try again tomorrow.

What I Learned These Last Two Weeks

I've been a mom for 20 years. I thought I'd learned pretty much about
taking care of children. Then God pulled out all the stops and gave us
Joseph. (I know our situation is minor compared to some, but I'm writing
this to help me remember and just in case someone else needs this info)
When we knew that he would most probably need to have his feet
amputated, we figured we would do the "big" surgery first and then maybe
a year later we would work on the hand. It made sense...get him
properly mobile then work on the "non-essential" limb (don't take that
wrong...it's just much easier to do without an arm than to be
non-weightbearing)
But, when we had a consultation with all involved doctors they suggested
the fixator on his arm first so we could determine the skin deficit and
possibly use the 'extra' skin on his feet for grafting on his arm. At
the time of the visit, we had 'plenty' of time to get the wrist into
position and hopefully remove the fixator at the time of the leg surgery.
Unfortunately, his arm just was not ready for grafting, his wrist wasn't
quite straight and we ended up with an 11 year old 80 pound boy that
had only one usable limb! and only 2 of them could get wet.
Now how do you move this child around? baths? bathroom? moving him from
chair to chair to bed?
This is what I learned: maybe it is written somewhere, but I wish I
would have had these hints earlier
When you are moving a child from bed to chair- bring them as close to
your body as possible. At first the nurse at the hospital told hubby to
lift him from the side...arm under legs and other around back...we soon
realized that will give us both bad backs within a day. A better
way--face him, squat, have him throw his good arm around your shoulders
and hold on....you grasp either a good handful of jeans-seat or upper
leg and lift. Basically holding him the same as you would a small
child belly to belly.
How to wash him--since it is summer time...I sit him outside, have him
slouch down in the wheel chair and tip his head back to wash his hair.
Use a plastic water pitcher to pour water over his head to wash off the
shampoo.
Use a washcloth to wash shirt area....
Send him to the bathroom to wash the private areas while sitting on the
open toilet. Those pre-moistened washcloths do a decent job in a pinch.
While we are in the bathroom....there is a right and a wrong way for
guys to use those urine bottles...take a look before you end up with a mess.
Dressing in a wheel chair is a challenge...now that he can slide over to
the sofa it is better, but at first he was afraid to do it on his
own....If he can get his legs in the pants...stand behind the wheelchair
and start pulling, and have him lean from one side to the other allowing
you to pull the pants up a bit at a time...undies work ok that way too.
If you have a choice, ask the doctors to put casts on just to the knees.
Even though I read some of your responses to him about love....he still
says he does not know what love is :^) and the other day he told me he
is having the worst summer ever....while I understand....
He does appreciate the many Hess trucks (another post one day- Wendy)
He is having fun with all the gifts people are sending
And he did admit to me the other day that this isn't as bad as he feared
it would be.
I do know that we are becoming the "king of things", but as you all know
eventually your 'things' become a burden and they turn on you....

Battling Varmints

After searching in vain for ripe little yellow tomatoes and only finding
green ones. Then looking to my traditional vines and only finding this

I asked hubby to set the rat traps and I bought these.

Mama, What Is Love?

This picture should have been on the previous post...

This wheelchair improves communication. We have been having some
interesting conversations the last few days. Some confession time of
sins committed before we ever knew him. Nothing that shocks me, but I am
glad that the incidents bothered him enough to talk to me about it.
Then the zinger---"Mama, what is love?
"Umm, what do you mean?"
"How big is love? You love....(he lists everyone in the family
including himself)...how big is love?"
OK people how do you answer that one?
I muddled my way through without ruining the baked oatmeal and the bread
I was making. A keeping Faith from stirring my mixture to the floor.
I tried to give the ultimate example about God giving His Son when we
didn't deserve it and how God did not give us what we deserved...Hope
pointed out that, that is Mercy, not love...but
I explained that while daddy works very hard all day, he loves his
family enough to come home each night and mow the lawn, keep the
swimming pool clean, play catch. I told him that some daddy's don't
love their families enough to do that. Daddy could very well stop
somewhere with friends and drink beer and not come home to the work that
is US...That, my son, is Love...there was more...
Anyway....I did ask what he thinks love is and did he ever feel
it....his answer was "no"
Looks like we have our work cut out for us.

One week post-surgery

Tonite he sleeps upstairs! He proved today that he can crawl up the
steps and get into his bed on his own...he has even managed to get a
leg-up over the toilet and he is sure he is able to take care of
necessities if needed.
I'm not sure how we are going to keep him non-weightbearing for 4
weeks. He did comment this evening that his feet ummm legs are
tired/hurt. So I think in true Joseph fashion we over-did it right away.

Another Driver!

The long awaited 16th birthday arrived and of course the DMV is closed
on a Monday in our area.
We braved a very long line at 8:30 AM to take the permit test for our
state on Tues. He passed with 100% ....now we parents have to take him
driving Yaay! I told the girls that by the time I teach them to drive I
will have no hair left....gray or black.
Joseph thought "It's fun when Ben drives" A couple of the curves were
a bit more exciting than when I drive.
He is still working on the car. It was his great grandfather's car,
bought for $100 at a family auction...so let's not fuss about the
wheels OK?

Life in These Parts

That wheelchair is getting many miles on it and not from the patient!
Thank goodness for big brothers and little sisters that play games.
Grandma sent a "flower" arrangement.
Tonite we had the first episode of phantom toe pain "felt like an ant
crawling on my toe and I tried to move it and my leg "popped "
First tears in days, gotta start somewhere, he has been so easy-going
ever since the surgery....well, except for when the nurses flushed the
IV site...that requires open mouthed wails...
anyway- the easy going-ness is a bit unusual....maybe it is relief.

HOME! Day #3

We brought him home just after lunch time today. He was ready.
The first thing I noticed was not so much his casts, but his hand! The
swelling has gone down and his hand looks all together different. Not
sure why it was still swollen...I thought that was the normal size, but
after today his fingers look more pronounced.
Anyway, he slept a bit on the way home. He rested a bit on his bed. I
noticed the same phenomenon as the last time. I was trying to make
supper (not paying attention to him) and EVERYTHING needed attention. I
left him know that he needs to read a book for 20 minutes so that I can
concentrate on supper. I think I will need to assign one of the
siblings to occupy him in some way, when I need to work.
That is why there is a picture of him playing frisbee with the siblings.
No he didn't catch that one, but he did get a few.

I think he will need quite a bit of occupying in the next 4 weeks.
All in all, though I'm impressed with how well it is going so far...see
if we can sleep tonite.

Day #2

I don't have pictures since dad has the camera, but no way to send them
home....but they tell me that Joe is sporting 2 blue casts that end
before the knees.
That is quite the blessing I'm thinking...less weight and he can bend
his legs.
He called me this evening from his wheelchair outside (playground area)
and was happy to tell me that one of the ministers from church stopped
in this afternoon.
His catheter removal went well and all systems are working OK.
He was only on oral pain meds so it looks like we can bring them home
tomorrow or early Saturday.

His living room bedroom awaits and we managed to install our own
removable shower head. It is time to have everyone under the same roof
again....oh wait I forgot...oldest brother is gone for the weekend...ah
well it is DH that needs to come home.

End of Day #1

I came home this morning and left daddy in charge and took over caring
for 2 grouchy girls.
At least they were good for grandma and saved the grouchies for me.
They even had a slumber party with Grandma, and they all slept in the
living room last night.

They decided not to get Joe out of bed today because of the danger of
dislodging his epidural. The Dr's seemed a bit surprised at how well the
epidural is doing...so we will give the credit to God where it belongs.

Tonite he phoned home and was missing everybody, not just me. Since he
is still in ICU he really can't have other visitors.
Tomorrow around noon, they plan to put him out again and change the
dressings and take out the epidural and the urine catheter then he will
get a regular room.
He is getting an electric scooter instead of a wheelchair... Two new
drivers next week!

AND they implied that he can come home on Friday! I guess that is subjet
to what they see under the bandages tomorrow, but I remain hopeful

Tomorrow we are off to buy a single bed frame for the downstairs, so he
can sleep comfortably in the living room and a sprayer for the
shower....wonder if I will grow more gray hair in the next couple of weeks?