Tea Party

               Little girls ready for a tea party -oops one little boy wiggled onto the sofa

             Serving tea and eating cucumber sandwiches, steamed buns, egg and olive, and cookies

 And a certain little girl who knew how to manage a tea cup (with hot chocolate) like a pro!

(We managed to keep our mother awards by having plenty of left-overs)

What are You Reading These Days?

 I think I have read "Go Dog Go" over a hundred times in the last 6 weeks

  I have hidden it in the bookcase

                                                And Missy Bright Eyes

                                                  Finds it every time!

                                    I will need to take sterner measures very soon.

               PS. Tomorrow we will go to a tea party, just the girls and me...the boys get to stay home and do the laundry. I will probably have to hand in my "Mom of the Year Award"

Shekinah's First Christmas

with us that is.... We kicked off the weekend with a family dinner. She had met my siblings and their children before, but had been very shy.  I wasn't sure how she would do especially with the men of the family.  I did not need to worry, by the time evening rolled around she was stealing her uncle's chicken...well, first she stole his seat, then she asked for his meat.

                           snuggled right up to older brother, since she knows he is OK now.
                      

        On Christmas day we opened gifts, here is Ezekiel reminding me that he was my Christmas gift 15 years ago.

                   Then the boxes kept getting bigger!

                               Wooden marble rollers still sound the same!

                            We managed a chocolate cake with peanut butter icing for Christmas supper


Quote of the day:  "Mom! Faith hit me!"   by a cute little 2 y.o. who is learning to tattle.

Ectrodactyly

A year ago I really did not know much about that big word. I saw a little girl who stole my breath away...an oh, she didn't have all her fingers and toes.

We applied to adopt her mostly because both daddy and I felt like God was telling us that she was our child.  When we showed our information to one of the doctors, they said "she will need some advice about having children when the time comes, because her children have a 50/50 chance of having ectrodactyly as well."

I did do some research and what I found was a bit scary.  Split hands and feet involving four limbs is seen in  1:90000 births. Often other nuisance type problems go with this...dry skin, bad teeth, and problems with tear glands.  Then I stopped reading.  My husband was very sure that this child was to be our, so I could relax knowing that it wasn't just my overactive mother heart.  Or worse "how young does she think she is?" "does she think they can save them all?"

I met her, we came home and I've been talking about her ever since. She's an amazing little girl...but that's not what this post is about.

Ben has to do a short speech at school on a medical subject of his choice. So he picked ectrodactyly. As he is doing his research I picked up on something that had bugged me before when I was doing my own research....the pictures of the tiny little babies with cleft hands and feet...why did they look like that? DUH mom! those are aborted babies.



OK, I told myself not to jump to conclusions, did people really abort their babies 'just' because they are missing fingers and toes?!

Then I joined a FB group for people who are living with ectrodactyly or are pregnant with children diagnosed with ectrodactyly and I found my answer....Yes, abortion is advised when people are carrying children with ectrodactyly.

I am so glad that Shekinah's birth mom did not have access to a sonogram....look what the world would have missed!!


Quote of the month:  "Why can't you be like other moms and help us with our homework?" (this from an A, B student)

" I thought when I'm the oldest I would get to pick the easy jobs"  (this wasn't the father of the clan speaking)

I Think She Likes Them!

She always did like Ben, but she really kept her distance from Demetrius. Glenda managed to get into her good graces by playing toys with her, but of course little one manages to avoid the camera.

Tonite she learned that Demetrius' phone not only has a 'bubbles' game, but it has a camera! She took pictures of mama, Metri, and her favorite book "Go Dog Go"  Now if Demetrius offers her a whole hamburger (hold the roll) he will forever have a place in her heart. That girl loves meat!

Public Service Annoucement

Don't put your finger in the pencil sharpener, not even the non-electric type.

Do You Like My Mao-zi?

Shekinah loves the book "Go Dog Go". I can supply a fair number of the words in Chinese and the pictures tell the rest of the story.

Tonite Ezekiel fashioned a foil hat for her and Joseph took her to see it in the mirror and for once I was on hand with the camera.

More Strange Projects

                         I love a challenge, but one of these days I'm gonna refuse a job. This

                        one involved covering 50ft of cotton clothesline with fabric. Then I

                        sewed the clothes line together with a zig-zag stitch.

                       Cut the crazy thing into 3 inch sections and sewed it together to make

                       the sides of this wonderful .....Casserole Cover!

                       What will they think of next! it was fully lined with thinsulate, but

                       it was almost more than my 25 y.o. machine could take!

                       Oh and of course they wanted it before Christmas!

Peanut Butter Fudge

OK, the easiest candy I've ever made

1 pkg graham crackers  (1/3 of the box)
3/4 cup butter
1-1/4 cup peanut butter
3 cups confectioners sugar

12 oz chocolate chips

Melt the butter in a microwave safe dish. Add the peanut butter. Mix in the sugar. Crush the graham crackers (fine is good, but whatever) add graham cracker crumbs to the mixture. Mix (I use a fork) until everything is blended.  Press in a 9 x 13 pan. Melt the chocolate chips, spread on top...let it cool and cut into squares.

OR you can roll the peanut butter mix into balls and dip into chocolate.

Don't worry too much about neatness, these will not hang around long.

More Reasons I'm Not a Photographer

Why I'm Not a Photographer

Because when I try to get Christmas card photos of my darlings I get this.

Actually managed to crop some suitable poses for a collage on the card.

Oh and the those are the girls' dresses...'cept Shekinah, she just
needed a shiny frilly dress like her sisters so I grabbed the nearest
one. It doesn't bother her that the velvet is coming off at the creases.

New Blog

Since we are starting a new phase of life I think I will start a new blog...stay tuned while I think of a new name etc.

Winner!

I decided to do the drawing right after 3 so that I don't forget it!
Despite all the proffered help, I thought I'd better choose the one that
can't read.

Congratulations Deanne! She entered via my e-mail...hopefully she will
answer me soon!

Up-Cycling - Christmas Program Dresses

( what was left of the silk blouse...the rest were snipples is that a word?)

Hope was telling me that she NEEDS a new dress for the Christmas program...on Friday. After  all they are supposed to wear DARK dresses and the ONLY dresses that no one had seen were LIGHT-colored dresses.
I have much sewing-for-$$$ that needs to be done.  When my girls have clothes that are not stained, have no holes, and are still long enough I will push off the fun sewing in order to complete my quilt orders.  BUT I felt guilty after delivering the quilts on Monday so I decided to check G**dwill to see what I could find.
There just are not many decent dresses for pre-teen girls.  I decided to check out the skirts, thinking I'd just make a bodice to put on a 'nice' skirt...

So I came home with 3 tops and 2 skirts.  Two of the tops said "professional dry clean only"  so I threw everything in the washer on cold water wash. They all came out OK.   The one top was kept to wear another day because it was too small to cut the bodice of a dress.(If your original blouse has buttons down the front make sure it is XL if you aren't planning to re-use the button front)

directions and lessons learned:
Wash the 'fabric' to make sure you don't end up with a dry clean only dress.  (the bodice of Hope's dress is silk)

Make sure the blouses you buy are big enough to cut your desired pattern.

The velvet top had no openings, just a very loose neckline (more fabric)  so I cut the front of Faith's dress from the front of the blouse and the back from the back...cut off the sleeves with a scissors...no careful seam opening this time.   Left the sleeve hems and seams alone and  just shaped the top of the sleeve using her dress pattern.  Had enough of left over fabric to make interfacing.
Her skirt basically went straight to the dress with only 4 pleats added at the waistline. I cut off the original waist/elastic stuff so the seam would lay nicer, but kept the hem intact.  I could add a belt, but she does not like belts and would rather have a loose dress.

Hope's silk bodice did incorporate some of the side seams of the original blouse, but I didn't think it was a problem. I would have liked to use some of the decoration that was at the neckline,but it looked worn and there was a stain (note for next time-check closer).  The sleeves originally were a square cut pattern (at the top), so I just reshaped the top and again left the seam and bottom hems alone...they could have decoration.

I did line Hope's bodice with some cotton fabric to give stability and modesty ^^   The belt is from some leftover silky fabric that was laying around here. The flower was given to her by a classmate.
  The skirt was wide with pleats  so I reshaped it with her pattern...lost the pockets in the process and discarded the belted/elastic waistline, but was able to keep the hem...

Two 'fancy' dresses in one busy day....the beauty of this is that you don't have to "like" my color combos or their or my pattern...you can go out to those RACKS of ladies clothes and pick from ALL SORTS of fabrics and make your dress...just think what you can do with those HUGE dresses you can find.

Big Girl!

A certain little girl actually used the big potty three times in one

day! Hmm, wonder if she was working on this before she met this-a

mama? Or maybe she's incredibly smart.

Oh and you can still enter the book give-away, go back to this post   you have till Wednesday.

Panic Origami

Were setting the tables for the big family dinner tomorrow. Dilemma:in
what do you put the individual servings of candy? I know, should've
thought about this before. finally found an easy origami box pattern on
line. We needed 48 of them, so I rallied the troops. Shekinah did so
great with her pieces of paper, but now she fell apart...to stressful
watching all those people busy folding.

This Is Fun!

Never had so many comments on my blog at once. Guess I'll have to see if
I have any other thing to give away!

In between checking my e-mail and delivering subs...and chasing a two
year old, I was doing this the past few weeks. No I'm not giving them

away, they are ordered. Oh, there are two twin sized quilt tops..the
2nd picture is the pillow throw. I think the quilts are sort of 'white',
but it looks great with the kid colors they chose. They order it, I
make it.

Attention: A Book Give-Away

Something new on this blog. I am not a very good book reviewer, but I love to read. When Dorcas Smucker had an offer on her blog for a free book if I do a book review on my blog...well I'm PA Dutch if nothing else. I saw the  word 'free' and 'book' and I jumped for it.
Thankfully I realized that her advertising tour was starting soon after I got home from China so I wisely asked to be one of the last reviewers. Now that gave me plenty of time to read all the other reviews and plenty of time to read the book.

Read the book- Now that was a problem. I love to read, but my time is limited. So to help with that I take my books with me. There is usually one in the bathroom (don't tell anyone), one at the lunch table (well there use to be, but I don't eat alone anymore), and then there is usually one beside the sofa. That is great, if I'm reading 3 different books, but this time I was trying to finish one book on time.  I could NEVER find the book!
The rest of the family got tired of me asking "where's Tea and Trouble Brewing?"

But since it is a book that keeps calling you back, I would delay lunch, nature calls and baby's nap time so that I could find the book and read another chapter.

Now if you aren't familiar with Dorcas Smucker's books, she wrote Upstairs the Peasants are Revolting , Downstairs the Queen is Knitting, and Ordinary Days. This book is written the same way, not a long novel that you need a flow chart to keep track of the characters (out of my league these days), but concise chapters that tell a story in one sitting...umm well.
The one day I was holding Shekinah while reading her book and I got a quizzical look because I was trying hard not to laugh out loud...she has you laughing in one chapter and the next one you need to go looking for a tissue.

She was 'brought up Amish'  and lived in 'the bush' in Canada, and adopted an older child. I was brought up Mennonite, went to the bush in Canada (my brother lived there for a year) and we adopted an older child...so I can sort of identify with her stories. 

I'd write more, but it's time for me to get to bed, I have to deliver subs tomorrow and then get ready for the family Christmas dinner on Sunday.

So this is the deal...all you 'lurkers'  (the people that read my blog, but never comment) and the commenters  leave me a message telling me something about yourself that I probably didn't know. Actually just leave a comment and I'll enter your name in a drawing. If you don't have an google identity and can't leave a message...send me one at   raychris@dejazzd.com  I will do the drawing on  December 5...that is a Wednesday.

 If you want to read more about the book, go to Dorcas' blog here and read the other reviews.  If you don't win Tea and Trouble Brewing is available herhere (I know it says "temporarily out of stock, but  I'm sure they'll soon be in stock)  or, you can send a check for $15 to: Dorcas Smucker  31148 Substation Drive, Harrisburg, OR 97446.  And there's more! Since one book of Dorcas' writing will probably make you wish for more, she has three more books for you to enjoy - Ordinary Days, Upstairs the Peasants Are Revolting, Downstairs the Queen Is Knitting - and now's the time to get them! She's offering the complete set of 4 books for $40. Just send a check to the above address and you'll have lots of stories to enjoy :)

Avoiding the Blogger Ceiling

I find it hard to believe I have that many pictures on my blog...So I can e-mail pictures just not upload them on the blogger dashboard?

Who Needs Toys?

Today one of my cyber orders arrived and as soon as the box was emptied
of its goodies...a little girl climbed in. Guess I'll just need to keep
ordering stuff online so we have a steady stream of boxes!

Hmph! I don't think I believe them! I tried to upload one more picture and Blogger told me I've reached my limit for online pics...sorta funny that a whole bunch of us are getting the same message these days even if we've been blogging for different lengths of time...gotta think this one over.

To Philly and Back

I love that Philadelphia is only an hour and a half away, but I am so glad to get home again.

The Drs at Shriner's took a look at Miss Shekinah's hands and feet today. Their diagnosis?

No treatment recommended   unless of course that transverse bone in her right hand decides to grow and cause her problems. They were suitably impressed by her cuteness and her skill with those hands.

Her feet they say are just fine  as long as the now soft cartilage does not harden and force her feet into a wide shape that doesn't fit into shoes.

So for now we get to visit them in a year for a followup

Joe is good for another 6 months. Then he needs to have a follow up on the legs and probably will need to have another pair of legs built.

Anyone have any ideas what to do with all these legs we are stockpiling?  Gotta check pinterest. Maybe a lampstand?   OK now it's time for bed.

How Is It Really Going?

Tonight I read a blog post. It was a plea for honesty.

 The writer said a friend just came home from Ch*na with two children and she/they are

struggling. She noted that even when she comes online looking for help, all she sees are carefully photoshopped pictures giving a glowing account of what life is like in other households. Of course!

We feel as if we need to encourage others toward adoption and if we talk about the

tough stuff, we will simply discourage. Then there is the privacy thing...how much do you share?

 Older child adoption is considered risky and difficult. We parents don't really talk about the nuts and bolts because it exposes our vulnerability.

Take a look at my pictures! Looks easy and fun! I will start off by saying that our two most recent

adoptions were not easy, but they have been much easier than I expected.

But to tell you what I expected would give my mom nightmares, so I won't write it here. There is a VERY important component in preparing yourself for the worst and having a plan for that 'worst'.

 I will also say that I could NEVER imagine adopting two children at the same time

 (foster situations excluded).

 I know families that have done the dual adoptions and they are doing fine...well what you can tell from their blogs. But if someone asked me for advice I would say "don't do it." but who am I?

So how is it going? I would say that the sleep issues have been the

hardest. When you are low on sleep ANY bump in the road seems bigger.

The Friday night when I felt like I needed to tie a knot on the end of

my rope, I went to our room and plopped crying baby on her daddy and

said "she's yours". Then I curled up and did some crying of my own. Come

On! you've heard crying before, you handled longer spells than that! But

in Ch*na I feel I had extra help from God and here at home it was time

to 'be normal'. Daddy did just fine and he got her to bed. The next day

we decided to give the melatonin a try.

 The crying in the daytime is a

little easier to handle. I just lay her on the sofa and stay near,but go

about my sewing or read a book. You need to give yourself permission to ignore what you can't fix.

 Some moms say they never get to go to the

bathroom or get a shower...well my two year old follows me everywhere so

if I need privacy I need to wait till she sleeps. I expect that to go on

for a very long time. But I was prepared for that.

Then there is the neediness of the other children. I spent 2 weeks away so of course I

needed to dig up extra reserves to give them the missed attention. There is the other recent adoptee that has the underlying suspicion that he doesn't measure up, that I really do not love him.

 I am needing to mind my tone of voice, my body language and needing to remember that two

years home is really not that long. I know these things, but some days I parent by the seat of my pants and am 'reacting' instead of 'responding'. I need to work at molding the young man that will shortly

be a teen. I need to help the self-esteem while overlooking the 'cockiness' that crops up regularly. I need to walk the tight-rope of allowing independence while keeping the guide ropes adjusted properly. As I told him after a long talk this afternoon I want him to want to

visit us after he is grown up and has a family of his own.

All this to say, things are going well. With continued prayer and hard work I will probably manage some private time sometime        in the next 3 years.

Quote of the day: You don't need faith when you don't take risks.taken from this post..read it if you have time

Like A? What!?

Suppertime yields some great comments. Unfortunately, I normally can't remember them at 10pm when I sit down at the computer.
However I made a special effort to remember some of tonite's chatter

Hope:  She will be as clean as a chicken.
Me, with question marks all over my face
Hope: "Well after it's been washed."

That led to further questions...a whole chicken? or a half? a plucked chicken?  Certainly not one with feathers.


Then Zeke had to get in on the fun.  "Yes, he is two farthings short of a sparrow."


Other times I will suddenly hear a British accent coming from my right "There is no cause for alarm."


31. crazy suppertime conversations
32. naptime without tears
33.Leftovers
34. Microwaves
35.Stronger arms, since I'm lifting 25# on a regular basis
36 Pumpkin pie  in the fridge
37. Chocolate cake with peanut butter icing on the porch (hope the cats don't find it)
38.brooms with the fuzzy tipped bristles
39. sunshine in November
40. bedtime kisses from Shekinah for all tonite

#3

21 Days that magically stretch to include all my plans

22. cousins that willing accept new cousins-with delight I might add

23. On line friends that are as wonderful in person

24. Menus that actually 'work' and are ready on time

25. Little girls that sleep till 5 AM

26. Little girls that decide they don't want to dress up for Thanksgiving

27. Only one apron to make

28. Fabric stash in the closet

29.Salvation Army Christmas music

30. Disposable plates (I'm green most of the time)

#2 Day of Thankgiving

11. Little girl grins and giggles
12. heart murmurs that turn out to be benign
13. a day at home
14. automatic washers (if you didn't know there is anything else, you should be doubly thankful)
15. child safety seats
16. sewing machines that live to be 25 years old
17. rural postal delivery
18. crunch leaves for little girls to walk in
19. fingerprints on windows
20. wet wipes


This is actually a bit harder than I thought....I'm trying not to generalize...I need to concentrate on this a bit harder during the day.

the heart murmur was Shekinah's, we were a little surprised when her pediatrician noted it. Normally a SN child has a very thorough exam when their paperwork is filed...we are glad that she was 'clear'.

No good pics tonite...I need to get some good ones of Shekinah and daddy for the post-placement report and do you think the little think will hold still...each of the pics is a blur!

For This Week

In the spirit of Thanksgiving....we will be instituting austerity measures in this house.

One night a week will be meatless

 Don't they look yummy? ( no Demetrius, I'm not asking you)

BTW austerity  night will be a Wed. night, so don't worry.

Actually this bean soup is very good especially if you use salsa instead of the tomatoes. So one meal will cost about $4 to feed a family of 8.

In the spirit of remembering the difficulties of our forefathers we might also go ice cream-less one night a week.  Not sure if I can handle the wailing that will go with that announcement. There are some children in this house that think their meal is not complete unless accompanied by ice cream.

I might also be singing the praises of melatonin...we will see how tonite goes...but last night was definitely better...she woke around 1AM, but when I appeared with my pillow, she crawled back into her bed.  I bedded down on her floor and didn't even fall asleep before I could hear that she was asleep again. That is a marked improvement over the past few nights.  She had been waking very anxious and looking around the room as if searching. She was also refusing to go up to her room with the girls, before this she loved her bed and always wanted to go to bed when they did.

Tonite she asked to go up to bed after relaxing on my lap for awhile.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving I will also list 10 things a day

1  A husband that gets up on a Friday night for the crying baby.
2. A son who gives up his Saturday to clean up soggy houses.
3. Crisp fall days
4. Blue sky behind rust brown leaves
5. Snapping dark eyes
6. Ramen noodles
7. wood stove warmed bathroom floors
8. cell phones
9. I can still kick a soccer ball (far enough to make my 12 y.o. marvel)
10. Apologies before bed

With a 2 Year Old Around!

This morning during the breakfast and school prep rush, a sheepish youngster came into the kitchen.
"I stapled my finger" he said...mournfully.

I really could not fathom how that could have happened since the finger he was showing me was on his dominant hand.

"How on earth did that happen and where?" I tried not to sound too exasperated.

"I was looking for my bibliography cards on daddy's desk. I leaned down and the stapler stapled my finger."  (note: this is a regular every day stapler...not a high-powered nail gun)

This statement raised a number of questions in my mind.

#1 Daddy's desk is sacred, NO ONE is supposed to mess with things on daddy's desk. NO ONE is to add papers to daddy's desk.

#2 Given those rules - how on earth could a pile of bibliography cards have appeared on daddy's desk, next to the stapler?

I may have quietly and unemotionally asked those questions.

The answer was, "Well with a two year old in the house, you never know!"


The cards were found in some other innocuous locale after the staple wound was suitably cleansed so as to avoid gangrene.

The End

So How Do You Talk to Her?

Who? Me? How do they talk to Me?  I just tell them what to do and they do it!

       Look at them!  They all wait on me hand and foot!

 There are some questions we get (actually my mom and my children get most of them) Some of them are decidedly immature, so I won't get into that, but...

One of them is "so does she know English? Well then how do you communicate?"
Well she speaks "2 year old" and I speak very little Chinese
I can say hello
               goodbye
               sleep good
               very good
              just a minute
              milk
              water
               big
              little
               car
               airplane
               most of the colors, but I might get green and blue mixed up quite often
You get the idea, I speak 2 year old Chinese
She can tell me off in Chinese. How do I know that? Just take a look at those eyes and mouth and you will know that you have been soundly scolded.
She will tell me that a spaghetti noodle is escaping the dish
The other day we were on 222 and I was telling her "car" (in Chinese)  "big car" ( tractor trailers)  and she was merrily repeating me. Suddenly the traffic in front of us slowed and there were at least 3 tractor trailers in front of us. I said (in English) " I don't know what these big trucks think they are doing."
She answered something in Chinese. Joseph started laughing. He translated "Why are those big trucks are in our way?!"              


                                 
Here she and Faith are busy writing.

 Here is the 'not so fun' part of adopting a 2 year old...the grieving...It is hard to watch and hard on the ears and heart...sometimes you just lay her down and try to do something else. Sometimes you post on FB and people pray for you because they are BTDT.

Then the sunny little girl comes back again...wearing mama's nylons and heels. She managed the nylons on her own and was very pleased with herself.