Mothering

A post by Shari Zook got me to thinking. She honestly confesses that she doesn't always love all that motherhood throws at her. She made me smile with her mention of why God made babies so cute and how they draw you in and you love them quite securely before they become the tyrants of  the 3's, 4's and 14's.

I guess I need to remember.... I was not the little mommy that had a whole nursery of dolls. I was the only girl with 2 brothers. I had various dolls when I was very young, one in particular still lives at grandma's house, she is full of tiny pin-holes. I don't remember why.  My mother was a quilter so the fact that I had a pin at a young age is not outstanding....maybe I was practicing to be a nurse.

I distinctly remember "trying" to play doll and thinking "this is so strange".

The other thing I remember is that we were only going to have three children.  God is still smirking over that one...well I'm sure He has much more important things to do.

I do love having children around and don't usually mind the noise and mess, BUT

Sometimes I look forward to the day that I can listen to a whole Christmas concert without a small child wiggling around on my lap or needing to "go potty".

It will be nice to sit through a whole church service without trying to be sure someone isn't talking, whistling or humming loudly beside me.  I also have learned that I need to check the pocketbooks for contraband, one memorable Sunday morning I caught Shekinah in the act of bringing a harmonica to her lips. The giggles that shook our bench were almost as big of a distraction as the mournful notes of a harmonica would have been in a Mennonite church service.

Sometimes it would be nice not to be "so important". I feel impatient with some small people who think that mama is the only one who can tuck them in, or comb their hair, or any number of simple tasks. I know routine and sameness are comforting....

One day I really will "just run into the store for milk"...and not need to plan around the child that fell asleep in the back, or happens to be barefoot on a cold day....because it was time to go and there were no socks to be found....no not at my house.

One day, I will skip lunch and no one will notice....or I'll eat a handful of chocolate covered coffee beans and not feel one bit guilty, and won't need to hide while I do it.

One day I will go into the bathroom and close the door and the noise outside the door will stay constant and I will not need to worry who is loosing a limb in those brief moments that I go behind a closed door.

One day I won't need to tie little shoe, or search everywhere for one,
or check if anyone needs to potty before we head down the road,
or remind anyone to brush their teeth, or
comb a headful of black hair, or
hold my breath as someone carries a very full cup of milk to her place at the table, or
zipper coats, or
strap carseats.
The list goes on and on and as I'm writing this I remember that I will be babysitting grandchildren too. Please don't get the idea that I don't like these things....it's what I do. It keeps me flexible and reminds me why I'm on this earth.

When these jobs are gone
I will miss the conversation coming from the car seat behind me, "mom look, what's that?"
Me: "that, a tree?"
"No, that"
Still not taking my eyes off the road, " a bird?"
NO!, that!  on my finger!  It's a boogie!

I won't hear a little girl stomp her foot and tell me "you're not my boss!"
I had to laugh....I told her , "I'm so sorry, but I am your boss."

Tonight I figured out her definition of a boss is different than mine, after she insisted that Hope and Faith are her bosses, but momma and daddy are NOT.
"Bosses fight with me."
Then I stand corrected....

I won't get "mama I love you"  10 times a day.

I will miss the wonderful respite that naptime brings.

When I weigh it out.....I think I like where I'm at and I like my purpose in life
and it was really nice to hold a sleeping baby tonight.