My Learning Curve and other Fun Stuff

This year I was a bit on edge during the month of October because last year Shekinah did a lot of crying during October, it was also the 2nd anniversary of her leaving everything familiar.Last year daddy and I went away for a weekend in September and the children stayed with their cousins. I always sort of wondered if that had anything to do with it.   This year she is in Kindergarten and I really wondered if that would help or make things more difficult. This year we also had an out-of-state wedding to attend in September, so we took Shekinah with us. October raced on by and I really didn't think I was noticing any extra crying or grieving. The dreaded "my feet hurt" that I heard over and over last year, didn't show up until last week.
My heart sank when she sat on the sofa at nap time and pointed her toes and said "my feet hurt". I cuddled her and read her a book. After her nap I asked if her feet still hurt, she gave me a grin and said "no".
Yesterday our congregation had an ordination for a bishop. Our Mennonite churches (maybe all Mennonite churches) use the lot to allow God to choose the man that is to be the next minister or bishop. Anyway, it is a very sober service and yeah, we decided to take our children with us. After all the big kids can sit and the little one will be sleepy and she will probably crawl into my lap and sleep. Right?
Well part way through she started her funky sighs that she makes when I know she is building up to something. I settled her a bit, and then "my feet hurt!" After awhile I decided we need to do a bathroom break and see if we can slow the coming storm. Her little feet pitter pattered with no pain down the steps to the bathroom. Even tho she didn't "have to", she did. I asked if her feet hurt only when she is sitting. She didn't answer such a silly question.  Finally I realized that this she is worried, she really didn't understand what was going on and it worried her...it really wasn't about the snap on her purse or the velcro on her shoes. I knew if I didn't settle her soon I would miss the whole reason we came to the service.
I sat her on my lap and quickly thought "how do you explain an ordination to a 5 y.o.?...they are going to make a bishop ( I know that is a very PA Dutch phrase)...no that won't work, she can clearly see they are not making anything up there. They are ordaining...no that takes too much explanation." So I settled on, " they are waiting to see who God picks to take Dwayne's place, you know they are going to Thailand, watch, the men are going to put those books up there and then Dwayne is going to open the book, can you see?"

Now her attention was caught, she had been off-balance ever since we sang a song in the middle of the service , "mom we going home now?" Strange church, different minister- he had a ringing voice and a missed afternoon nap. I almost didn't catch the next worrying thing, after the book was opened and we realized who God had called, she glanced at me. "Mom why you crying?"(There were really only a few tears) Then she looked up front and all the ministers had gathered around the new bishop to pray for him and his wife. I have no idea what was going through her mind. She looked worried all over again. I tried to explain what she was seeing. Then finally we sang and the service was truly over. We made it!

I have seen her pull things together a lot lately, I'm not sure if it is just maturity or does it have something to do with the vitamins and probiotic we started her on? Whatever, I am just thankful that not all the hard stuff comes at once.


Things she is learning:  "mom that is a NEW-nited States flag"  "That sign says four-zero"  "Did you know that people need to give the mail even if it is raining or snowing every day, but not Thanksgiving" "The teacher has a Toyota."
"When this baby came to me his name was 'Zel, now her name is Teddy."
And tonight she brought home papers with the words "mud" "man" "men" and "mop". She will soon be reading!


Things I am learning: There is a place called Office for Vocational Rehabilitation who very well might be able to help us figure out how to fund some very expensive driving lessons and adaptive driving evaluations that a certain son will be needing in the next year. We were very thankful to find out about them.  I also learned that it is illegal, at least in PA, for a person to drive using a prosthesis. Meaning that the prosthetic limb cannot be touching the controls of the car. I also learned that it would be illegal for me to use the adaptive driving paraphernalia in a car unless I am trained to use it. (Updated: Apparently the person that gave me that information was misinformed. You do, however, need an evaluation before you can drive with a prosthesis.)

I also would like to see someone write a piece contrasting self- esteem and self-worth   also, humility and worthlessness.