Pain with No Name

This weekend I missed the Empowered to Connect seminar,but I was seeing quotes all over FB-land. This got me to thinking about pain and what we do with it and to avoid it.

It it interesting how we are made. When I was pregnant with my first child, I had premature labor around 24 weeks. I didn't know what I was feeling. I didn't even know enough to fear the sensation and what it might mean to my unborn child. Later when I was close to delivering our third I knew exactly what I was feeling, I had a name for my pains and I sort of knew what to expect. These days when those sensations called heat flashes hit me, I have to tell myself that this feeling has a name and if I don't panic it subsides again. These "normal" feelings are very similar to the cold sweat just before a fainting episode. I fear fainting because it is not "normal" and it is evidence that something is not okay for me.

Well enough about my physical ailments, I was really thinking about heart pain-- no not heart attacks but the emotional pains that we have. We go to great lengths to avoid getting hurt that way, though sometimes we are way to young to identify our pain.  We just know something is wrong. If a child stores the pain of abandonment, abuse or neglect inside his heart and does not realize that it is the source of his pain, but only knows to avoid anything that comes close to those feelings. He may grow up knowing that certain feelings bring up subconscious warning flags. "Don't go there."  "Don't love that person, it it too scary."  On the surface the warnings really don't make sense, but it is easier to simply avoid trusting,or loving so that his heart- his inner self- stays safe.
This lack of trust easily goes into our spiritual lives, trusting God is a huge risk, if you don't really believe you are lovable. Really why would anyone so big, good, and powerful really care about someone so small, bad and really not very lovable all around.

If a feeling can be identified ---go back to my physical ailments---that cold sweat ( heat flashes are associated with cold sweat? yeah a cold sweat is one that you get suddenly, as in "a sweat that is not caused by heat or exertion") is also the same feeling that precedes fainting, low blood sugar, or a heart attack...or a simple, old heat flash. If I can name my reason for my feeling, I can relax and realize this isn't dangerous. I think the same could be said for any number of physical pains...if you can name it, you can tame it.

"Name it to tame it" is a catch phrase that  Dan Siegel uses to teach parents to help their children name a feeling. It is amazing how many feelings come out looking like anger. Anger is very helpful, it chases people away, it makes you feel powerful, and you can go off in a snit and not talk things through. If however, you look at anger and realize it is something like grief, fear, or anxiety then things get messy. Then you have to look at what you are grieving, what you fear, and what is causing your anxiety or do you?
Can't you just say " You scared me, I thought you were going to ________."  There it is named and now it looks smaller.
How about?   "I am sad, I didn't get to hold you when you were a little one." Oh, so sadness on someone's face looks very much like anger?

I realize there is a flip side to this. Sometimes you have a "gut feeling" that something isn't right. How to know?


QOTD: The other day I was explaining the phrase "didn't say squat" to Shekinah. I said it simply means "didn't say anything". She gave me this side-wise look and said, "You mean in Dutch?"

Quilt Shows and Little Girls

So on Friday after I taught a CPR class and met hubby for a lunch date and picked up the younger girls at school, we picked up Grandma to go to a quilt show.

Now Shekinah was sure she didn't want to miss this.

She really didn't know what it was. After we visited the first few vendors her feet were very tired.

They were even more tired when I told her that we probably could not buy anything. 

Tho' it looked like a yard sale they certainly weren't yard sale prices.

Then one of the stands had a drawing for a sewing machine and they told all of us to enter. They also had a little mug on the table with caramels. "Sure please take one!" the lady said....

A few booths later she was "patiently" waiting while Grandma watched a stand holder explain the intricacies of stained glass window quilting and a neighboring stand holder handed out some Tootsie Rolls.  Suddenly this quilt show wasn't quite so boooring!

As we walked into another room, a man at another stand (another rarity, not many men go to quilt shows) saw Faith and Shekinah and asked if they are sewing yet? They answered with shrugs and nods. "Well you go over here and each select a fat quarter for free. Here put it in this bag." The stand had about a 1000 fat quarters. For those of you that don't quilt...a fat quarter is a piece of fabric that is 1/2 a yard long and 21" wide.  The choosing was fun and of course mom had to buy a coordinating piece for each of their selections because we are going to make zippered pencil pouches!

Then my little group walked out to yet another stand and they were selling quilt magazines. My little second-grader could not see the magazines so she looked around and noticed a cute pen in the man's pocket. "I like your pen,"she told him. He paused a bit when he noticed her unique hand formation and bless his heart if he didn't simply pull out his pen and show her how it was a stylus on one end and a screen cleaner on the other....then he gave it to her!

It was high time to get out of there! She stopped at one more stand and found a mug with starlight mints, but the lady said she can't have one because they were "adult only"....BUT she had something in her box. After a bit of digging she came out with some gummy candy packs.

Not sure what I learned from all that, but...it was fun.

Those cards that Shekinah is stitching were a great snowy day project.

I simply drew a picture and poked holes with a needle every 1/4". I then had them stitch around the design. 

History is repeating itself here...reading the newspaper while holding a little boy.

Sharing the last drips of someone's coffee drink.

Ahh spring...

13" of it.

Kitchen Reveal

Ok I had to go back a piece to get a "before" photo.

Those wooded cabinets were/are decent quality especially the doors. They have been in this house since we built it in 1986. The flooring of the cupboards needs to be replaced.

The paint color looks a bit greenish on this photo, the one below is more accurate.

I really love the "tiles" They were my husband's invention.

We didn't think the "stick-up" tiles seemed high enough quality for what we were 

going to need to pay.
And real tiles were just too expensive and scary to install. So after some brainstorming he came up with a tile made from 3/8" MDF (medium density fiber). He machined an edge to simulate tile. Then painted each one by hand with the best  glossy kitchen and bath paint we could afford. We were going to apply a non-yellowing clear gloss, but it gave- you guessed it- a yellowish tint to the light gray paint.

I need to put up my knife rack so I can get rid of the purple container I'm using now, and get a new paper towel holder.

Oh and the kitchen counter is Typhoon Ice from Home Depot. It was a pre-fab counter, came in three pieces. We were very happy with the ease of installation. The corner comes pre-mitered and you get special bolts to pull the corners together. The miter wasn't cut as straight as we could have wished, but in the scheme of things I don'  think it is noticeable. Cutting the hole for the sink bowls was a bit nerve wracking but a sharp blade on the jig saw made for  good results.

I really like that there is no seam between the counter and the short little backsplash. Our old one cracked and warped there and looked awful...that is why we decided to go with the prefab counter instead of painting the old one.

We ordered a 10' right miter and a 6' left miter and a 4' rectangle countertop and our cost was about $300. I don't know if it will last another 30 years...but probably I don't care.

The one thing that needs changed is the light fixture. One globe is broken and of course finding a match is almost impossible. Replacing all eight of them costs almost as much as putting up new fixtures.

Kitchen Update, Snow Days and Book Club

I need to clean off the kitchen sink and take good pictures. 

The "tiles" are in! We just need to paint the range hood and maybe paint the kitchen chairs.

Tho' it might be easier to buy new chairs.

I just won't take pictures of them.

Nothing like a new project. I decided to do a ministry-type project.

Economy weighted blankets - I don't give many fabric choices- saves my running around all over the place. I will probably do a limited number, but after crunching the numbers for tax time I think

quilts really don't have a very high hourly wage.

Caught Shekinah manning her vegetable stand- not sure 

why she needed a mask.

Then someone had an 18th birthday....that is 17 + 1  as we did not have an "8"

candle. Shekinah thinks we'd better take care of that before June.

We did the hibachi grill thing for supper again.

If you ever want an interesting art project. Have your child draw an animal...imaginary or no.

Then allow them to dig in your scrap box and select the fabrics. 

And see what you come up with.

He was wearing sun glasses then...

Zeke helped her decide that it needs eyes.

This is the project that was tabled until a later date.

I'm thinking that if you are going to make a crazy quilt, you should make it for yourself

or for someone you love.

It is very hard to make color decisions for a person

who simply "wants a crazy quilt". 

She has changed her mind a number of times in the past two years.

I kept pushing the order to the back of the line.

This is the best pattern selection she has come up with but still....

The photo copy she sent is not in actual color...so here we go...

She supposedly is going to do her own embroidery. 

This will give her something to start on, I might never hear from her again!

I like this kind of snow day.

Well behaved snow...it only lays on the grass and very little on the driveway.

Since it is a snow day. Someone decided that playing zoo is lots of fun.

Tho the monkeys are housed in the bathroom and you need a zookeep to open the door for you.

Lest you think our house is just humming along like a top.

I joined a book discussion group

for this book.

QOTD:Shekinah:" I know what I want to be! A teacher, because then I can look at the answers."

Valentine Celebration and Great Wall Model

At first when Faith came home saying she is making a model of the Great Wall of China, I figured it should be an easy feat. I should have known better,

 the first one wasn't easy and the model wasn't a cinch either.

 

We bought a box of Floracraft Project bricks off Amazon and looked up a few 

other model projects online and then started designing.

Of course we couldn't just make a flat stretch of the wall, it had to go up a mountain.

Of course it did.

Daddy to the rescue, he shaped some pieces of styrofoam with his bandsaw, 

we painted the mountain with tempura paints

Popsicle sticks for the walk way, a silver "rope" with gold safety pins for the 

"promise locks" that were on the section of the wall that we walked.

Then for the surrounding area she added moss from a bag we bought at Walmart.

Little Miss decided to get a bit creative too.

Big brother kept her occupied while Faith was gluing the Great Wall together.

This is the kind of snow storm we get in PA...I guess I'm ok with it cause 12" of 

snow takes a lot more work to move.

So what did you do for Valentine's Day? A friend of mine posted this idea on her FB 

Hibachi Grill at home!

I actually went out and bought two griddles.

some shrimp, a piece of pork tenderloin and some chicken breast.

Marinated the meats after slicing them thin. Chopped up some peppers, onions and mushrooms.

Found a recipe for Yum Yum sauce

Each person had a dish for raw meats and we had plenty of extra forks

to hopefully keep cross-contamination at a minimum.

I'll just say, while it was a slightly hectic meal and you really want one adult per child under 10, 

we had a blast! We didn't actually burn anything -well unless you count the foam plate that got a hole in it. If you didn't pay attention to your food, someone else would snag it 

before it was too browned to eat.

Some things we learned- I want to buy a set of forks that are very different from our

regular forks to be used as "raw forks".

We really didn't need potatoes at this meal- Atkins would have been just great.

Fried clementines are actually good.

Even with the purchase of the new equipment the cost was roughly equal to 

taking the whole crew to the Golden Arches for a complete meal with dessert.

We will be doing this again! Some people thought it should be an everyday experience, but I think not!  I'm envisioning some breakfast meals too. 

Do not expect this to be a quick meal. We were at the table for 1-1/2 hours.

Cleanup was not bad as the only kettles were the griddles.

QOTD: Shekinah had a horrible discovery. "Zeke what do you do at recess when you are at work?"

"Daddy don't you have recess either!?"

A Full Week of School

The other week I had to use these slips of paper quite often. I made them to place them at bedside tables so people didn't wonder why mom "forgot" to wake them for school.

Yeah, I'm waking people again.  The girls handle their morning better if I do and for now the phone hits the docking area in the kitchen by 9:30 and stays there till morning. I have no problem waking someone for that reason.

Thankfully, the weather was better this week, but the "something" bug hit our house starting last week. We've had a little bit of each kind with Joe missing two days of school with a fever.

Speaking of Joe, he/we should be searching for a new prosethetist -one who makes prosthesis. He is aging out of the Shriner's Hospital for Children. We love the people there,but I will not miss the trek down the Schuylkill Expressway. If anyone has actual experience with offices in PA who do a good job making prosthesis please send me a comment with info.

With all the days of "vacation" we had in the past couple of weeks, I finally finished this order.

Now she wants a Crazy Quilt made with silks and velvets! She wants to do the hand embroidery and I will do the sewing. I hope she has a big piggy bank! 

I finally insisted that Shekinah clean off her bed. She had almost 10 dolls and stuffed animals stashed on there! She was surprised how easy it was to fix her bed after it was just blankets and TWO animals on there.

So the moral of this story is....When you cook extra potatoes to make mashed potatoes for the freezer. You need to make the potatoes that day while they are still warm. You should not put the cooked potatoes in their water in the fridge and then try to make them into mashed the next day.

They get gluey and look funny.

But since I was Raised Right I could not just throw them away.

I could however mix them into a yeast dough and make

Doughnuts. 

Gluey potatoes are very good in doughnuts

*now if anyone can help me with the potato part just let me know....If I would have rinsed the potato chunks and gotten rid of the starchy water, could I have made mashed potatoes? I am cooking how many years? And I know you can't make mashed potatoes in the blender, but this piece of  cooking chemistry has me puzzled.

We took a field trip this week and went to Souvalki Boys Greek restaurant to celebrate the halfway mark in her Greek language course. Good food!

Speaking of good food, I got an Instant Pot for Christmas and we're liking it.

The above picture shows what Shekinah thought of the venison I made in there the other night.

I marinaded the venison in this for about five hours. Threw it in the instant pot,

added the water and did the pressure thing for 15 minutes.

The results were plate-licking good.

Well not everyone licked their plates at least not for the camera.

So the back splash has been decided upon.

How about wooden tiles?

I'm liking them.

My dear hubby is painting them.

And I think we found the countertop that will work.

QOTD: The turning signal was not working and you know how it blinks in double-time?

We girls were headed to Walmart and Shekinah was sitting in the back. "Hmm even the turning signal is excited to go to Walmart."  We probably should expand our horizons.

Another quote--same source listing her woes from the day and ending with "And my cupcake had too much icing on it!"

This was from one of the three meal events I helped with this weekend.

Hot lunch for school on Friday--sausage, mashed potatoes, peas, jello cups and bars. I was so thankful for the four other ladies who helped with prep and serving. 

Saturday evening a local youth group had a culture meal and asked if I could bring "some Chinese food" selection was up to me. I decided on steamed dumplings. I think we prefer them as "potstickers" but for serving at an event as this was....these were perfect.

Sunday was fellowship meal at church, I brought a crock pot of chili. I like the way they did the potato bar this time. Frozen shredded potatoes heated in roasters instead of scrubbed, buttered, wrapped baked potatoes! No waste, no scraping shells, no deciding if you should eat your nutrients by eating the shells.  Easy food, I love it!