Figured It Out!

I have been trying to figure out what Youngest Brother likes for
breakfast. He told me a few times, "breakfast in America, no good."
I made congee, the girls scarfed it up....but he ate it slowly and
didn't ask for it....hmmm.
Finally we have enough English, it was corn....ground up....oh! cornmeal
mush?....(polenta for the refined folks)
"no,no mama, not milk".....no son just cornMEAL (not milk) and water

"no, not corn flour, bigger...like little rocks..."

Grits!!? you think? so today I bought a small box of grits and SURE
ENOUGH! They should be yellow, but it tastes right! Not even much
salt....just corn and water...
Where do I find yellow grits? South of the Mason-Dixon line I'm
guessing....
OK, that mystery is solved.

Oh, the other picture....just a snow man... in a tree....later he wore
safety goggles, held up by a nose made out of a dead battery.

Older Child Adoption

Someone asked me "Is it difficult to adopt an older child with physical disabilities?" and I know that one of you readers told my mom "Chris has a lot of patience and probably does not lose her temper"  VERY FUNNY!!!!

Adopting a 10 y.o. son with physically disabilities has been the hardest and the easiest way of having a child....compared to the sleepless nights, labor pains, c-section, crying babies....it has been a cinch.

On the other hand, it has been the hardest, in that I feel the pressure of the lost time....when he simply wants to chill by playing a mindless computer game for hours....I feel the need to pull him into interaction...do something constructive.
 He came to us with his own set of standards... girls, and little kids (I don't think he was around younger kids much even though he played doll very gently) are sort of a pain in the neck that you can ignore and be rude to if you want -- boys on the other hand are important....normal I know, but inside I cringe.
 The "bean counting"-- constantly making sure the girls don't have more than he....it is OK for the older boys to have something extra...(because they are older or because they are boys?).

I knew beforehand that smacking your lips and sloppy eating are part of the package deal....I have boys after all, but watching it...makes me worry that he will gross out all the girls and never get a date....
The added tattle tale, the additional person loosing their clothing, needing to remind him that you need clean undies when you take a shower....(yes, every time, deary....I know American mama's are strange)

I can see the effects of a life without many experiences....in a lot of things he is about 3 years old....he stood outside in the cold wind yesterday --shivering-- coat hanging open and no hood....I called out to him...."how do you think you could make yourself warmer?"   He actually though for a bit....then started closing his coat.
When the other kids carry one of their many treasures around the house and forget where they put it....they look for it themselves and don't get too worked up....not him....it is a state of emergency. Keeping track of his precious pencil from Ch*na is a never ending job...somehow it is never in the box I designated as a pencil box, so I often have to wait patiently (not) while he looks for it.

A few things worry me....he has not really mourned his losses....we talk about life at the orphanage and life in the foster family...he has cried hard a few times, over a small thing....times that I have interpreted as mourning. But why doesn't he miss his foster mom? I don't kid myself that I am such a good mom,that of course he doesn't miss her. I know I fall short in his mind.  Was it the year and a half spent in the orphanage before we were able to come for him...what was he told in the orphanage?

The other thing....his physical needs....we had hoped, when we sent LOI, that we would be able to repair his feet, no we didn't know how we would afford it....In my mind...if God moved everything so we could bring him home, He would figure out how to pay for the treatment.
Well, things are different than we figured....he will be in prosthesis for the rest of his life...did I plan on a child "with braces on his legs"?....No....Did I ever think I would tell my child to go put on his feet so we can go to school?....No....did I ever think I would need to figure out how to cut hair to hid burn scars but still look neat?....No...
Did I ever think I would have a child with 8 loose baby teeth in his mouth (not sure why)...No....Did I ever think I would be able to talk to a child without batting an eye about "your #1 China mama" (we have been working on that conversation with the sisters, but in their case it means birth mother and the questions are all coming from them)....No.....

The things I worried the most about are not what are taking my time these days....
The things that are hard work are... keeping a balance....letting him learn by his own mistakes...staying patient (no I am NOT a patient person), knowing when to lay down the law, and when to go easy...
In other words you can prepare all you want, but you still need to learn as you go.

Oh, and do I wish we would have ignored his picture???   NO!

Merry Christmas!

We had a fairly low-key Christmas...our excitement came on Christmas Eve.  We hauled all the gifts down stairs on Thursday night and had Little Brother very excited...he was up bright and early on Friday morning...said he couldn't sleep.
We don't do a tree and I had only finished wrapping the gifts...so he had no idea that gifts for 9 people would make such a big pile.
After he opened his first gift...he wondered where his motorcycle was? I tried to tell him I had no idea he had asked for a motorcycle....the next gift was his motorcycle....unfortunately by the next day the cycle no longer is working...I will have to contact A*r Hog* and see about a replacement....he was asking "how much for  a new motorcycle?"

The rest of the kids enjoyed their gifts, but I think it was the most fun to see his eyes light up when he knew the gifts were for him....he was jealous over the slap bracelets....he thought I gave Sister 3 and he only had 2 in his shoe box (our version of a Christmas stocking)   I reminded him that no one else got a motorcycle and a He*s truck ....his face went still for a minute and suddenly the slap bracelet wasn't as important.

Then we had to have a birthday cake for our newest teen...my Christmas gift 13 years ago.

Monday Musings

Friday evening was very neat....Youngest Brother stood up front and

looked like he had practiced the songs for 7 weeks, just like the rest

of the kids.

He did tell me that his heart was pounding when he looked out over the

auditorium.

Mom however, acted like she was at the first event ever...took her

camera and forgot to grab the camera card from the computer....so now I

have to find the cable to connect the camera to the computer >:o

Saturday, was a wonderful day....we spent the afternoon with dear
friends. We became parents together almost 5 years ago in a city on the
other side of the earth. The girls see each other about 4 times a year
and take off playing as if it was just last week. One of the girls got
sick on the way to the party so she was missing this time....
These dear friends decided they needed to give Youngest Brother a
welcome home party... Thanks guys! It meant a lot!

Sunday, our faithful old van left us sit. We were on the way to a family
Christmas thing...and suddenly there was a cloud of steam/smoke
billowing behind us....We pulled over in the nearest driveway and
discovered it, thankfully, was not engine oil, but water from a burst
radiator hose. We were in the drive of a family from school and they
helped us out with water for the radiator. We were able to limp the van
to DH's cousin and he was able to repair the van today. We missed the
Christmas function, but were able to just rest at home....something we
all needed to do.

I was so thankful that hose didn't decide to burst on Sat. when we were
flying 65 MPH on the PA Turnpike...or when I needed to get the kids to
school....

Youngest Brother sent me home from school at 9AM today! He stayed the
whole day so he could go Christmas Caroling at a retirement home. I
actually got some gifts wrapped today!

First Day of School

He LOVES it! "Mama, tomorrow stay all day"

It didn't hurt that he was ahead of them in math....whizzed through the
9x's worksheet in 2 minutes instead of the allotted 2-1/2 and had all of
them correct! Understood the division assignment and was finished before
the others.

He listened to the practice session for the Christmas program, scheduled
for Fri. night and declared that he wants to go on stage and help to
sing. He does know what a Christmas program entails because he watched
the others do their piece, last Friday night. So tomorrow he will stay
through program practice, thankfully the music teacher is flexible
enough to find a place for him to stand.
I asked him what he will do if he does not know all the words...he
showed me very well that he is a great mime. (Said that is what older
brother was doing last Friday night)

We went out to buy the coveted lunch box....and he spent the evening
trying to read his Bible Memory passage Isa 53:1-6 (KJV no less!)
In the picture is he trying his hand at the handwriting practice paper
(he informed me it is PENCIL writing, no hand) and the teacher did some
research during PE and discovered info on "one handed typing"

I thank God for teachers willing to go the second mile and I feel relief
at seeing his enthusiasm for going to school tomorrow. I pray it lasts
for another 8 years!

How's That for a Red Thread?

Today Youngest Brother was messing around with the translator and had
put the word "high" in it.
I looked at the translated symbol and thought it looked familiar....
That symbol looked very familiar...I asked him if that was the character for "Gao"He answered "yup" ( new favorite word along with "nope")I was speechless....
You see he has a Grandma and Grandpa High and a Great- Grandpa HighMY maiden name is High.
His family name....supposedly given at birth...is "Gao"He was family from birth!It gets better... His given name is "Liang" meaning "light" His
daddy's name is Ray (ray of light)Well maybe not better, but somehow after 90 days I only now figured this
out. What a God thing!Had the meeting with the school and "we" start 1/2 days until Christmas
break....then I think full days. I feel good about the teacher and the
ESL teacher. There is one excited boy in this house.." get lunchbox mama!"
Yes, dear, now it is time to get the lunchbox.

School

Youngest Brother has been saying he would like to go to school.
The dilemma we face is that our small private school is not set up for
ESL or a lot of one on one tutoring. They are a wonderful school for
just regular kids.
I thought I could just HS Youngest Brother for this school year and then
in the fall he would be good to go for 5th grade, but somewhere along
the line I started realizing that he thinks he is not as good as the
other kids because he stays home with me.
I started hearing the stories of his last year and a half at the
orphanage...the other kids went off to school and he got to stay back
with the kids who were mentally disabled....(well, he points to his head
and says "no good" so I'm reading between the lines) The orphanage
staff told him he can't go to school because he might get pushed over
and break his prosthesis. While he was in his foster family he did go to
school with the other kids, but his education still seems a bit spotty.
He did say that his China Mom would tell him "no go because of feet" So
I am wondering if he stayed home on rainy or snowy days.
So we decided to check into another private school that just started ESL
and has learning support and they were happy to accept him. So the
initial plan is to meet on Tues after school and possibly start 1/2 days
this week.
I told him that he can meet the teacher and talk to him...he said "no"
and motioned that his heart would be pounding, he said " me no remember
English"
Poor kid....he does want to go to school, but I'm not sure how it will go.
For starters the pants situation....He spent 10 years of his life in
sweats, then he comes to this strange household where you wear sweats to
sleep and for PE, but school will require pants with a belt....yes, and
that pesky right-handed zipper needs to be closed....and if you pull
your pants up to your belly button...they are too short....I know they
don't feel right resting on your hips....but no they won't fall down!
I am hoping that now I can go on to being mom...not mom and teacher....I
think he worries when his school work is difficult and he gets something
wrong....I think he worries that he is disappointing me. I know he does
not like to see me frustrated...if one of the others is giving me a hard
time...he steps in to "help". At first I wondered if it was a control
thing, but I'm wondering if it is more of a fear that mom will "loose
it" (not that I ever would :^O) I don't know...guess time will tell.The other day I was telling my mom that I am amazed how busy I
am....even with a newborn...they took naps sometimes....but I also
didn't feel like I was failing if they just lay on the floor cooing....
Youngest Brother would be happy to play mindless computer games (or
watch TV which we thankfully don't have) all day... but I know he needs
to catch up, there is a spot out there for that smart brain of his.
Unfortunately, it will take some hard work. So I am constantly trying to
keep him occupied with good education computer if the other stuff is done.Anyway, I must have sounded sort of negative...my mom asked if I would
do this again if I had know everything....
mom....the answer is YES!

Our Visit to the Philly Hospital

I was happy to accept a new appointment at Shri*er's hospital...instead
of the 17th they fit us in today.
The Dr did not give us any surprises, he said he could not recommend
reconstructing Youngest Brother's feet.
The reasons he gave were ones we had considered earlier....
1. He probably never walked before the burns
2. Yes, we could put his feet into normal walking position, but if the
ligaments and bones did not work properly, he would walk worse than now.
3. The process would take very long and he would be in a wheel chair for
that period of time. Knowing our son's nature that would be very difficult.
4. His injuries are old...more than 8 yrs old... and he walks with
prosthesis now.We sort of thought that is what he would advise and we had been prepared
for that answer.... their advice is to improve his feet so that the
newer prosthesis will fit. So we will be facing surgery, but not until we
are all ready...
DH and I felt comfortable with the decision...no it is not what we
dreamed of for our son, but after knowing him I think it will be a good
decisionWhat does he think of it? Not sure yet...he understood bits and pieces
of the conversation and tonite we talked some, but ....does anyone have
advice on how you broach this subject with a 10 year old?Today they started the procedure to make new prosthesis for his
feet...first off is making a cast and in about 2 weeks go in for a
fitting and hopefully have new ones after the new year.His hand? we will let that for a bit...but Dr feels good that we can
reconstruct that....

Working on Fears

Tonite Youngest Brother had to take out the table cloth and shake it
over the porch railing. He always comes back in panting in "mock?"
fear.....saying "It's black"
He will do the same thing if he goes upstairs at night time.

I asked him what he is afraid of...what is out there?

He said "I don't know"

I asked if he wants to go to the mailbox and get the mail? We have a
long driveway...he said "NO!"

I told him I have walked out there in the dark....it's OK

He told me he would pay me $5 to walk out there....He even brought down
the money.

I told him to put away his money and come and walk with me...

He brought his flashlight, but didn't use it....I think knowing that
Little Sister was brave enough to come too gave him added incentive....

We made it out to the end and thankfully nothing rustled in the trees.

I don't mind that he is a bit worried about the dark...but where we live
we do have to face some darkness...we are not in the city...

Maybe I didn't handle it correctly....guess we will find out.

Another Day Off School

Well we had the 5th day off school and I knew we needed to have something to do...I saw a pack of gingerbread houses at Wa*mart and it had FIVE houses in one box

Just the thing I needed...I do have 6 kids, but didn't think the 19 y.o. really would want to help.

First I had to carefully cut apart the cookie pieces...only broke one

Each of the houses was different. That posed a bit of a problem since of course at least 2 people wanted the same house...so we drew numbers and I think everyone was happy. Assembling the 5 houses was my job...well except for the 15 y.o., he built his own house
Then the fun began....sticky stuff all around

 Oh and we dug out the stale candy canes from last year    shhh! I'm sure chewy candy canes never hurt anyone

My penguin loving boy managed to fashion a penguin out of candy

After we were finished it was very necessary to wash the floor.

Tonite Youngest Brother read a good part of "The Cat in the Hat Comes Back"  I think he understood most of the words!

Happy Thanksgiving

Well we survived our first major holiday....
met some relatives for the first time.....

Family is very laid back...no Aunt Agatha's to give big smooches or anything.

He Skyped with a friend who is living in Shanghai was good to hear him talking away in Chinese...but wait! I heard a lot of English phrases sprinkled in his conversation...the other day I mentioned "forgetting your Chinese" and he informed me  "me no forget!"

This evening the youngest three were outside using up the sidewalk chalk before it snows.... and I found the above pictures...
for those of you that can't read Chinese....it says " I love mama and daddy"

On Thanksgiving we got an e-mail from Youngest Brother's  Dr saying "we have reached a consensus and it would be best if you come in so we can discuss it"  
Not sure what their advice will be....but I have a gut feeling...
It is time to do something his prostheses are getting too small and he complains every time he puts them on. I'm looking forward to the appt but dreading it at the same time.
So Mon AM I will call and get the quickest appt for our and their schedule.

Explaining myself

Since we are home, Youngest Brother pretty much goes everywhere with me
especially during the day.
At first when we went to my regular stores the clerks would smile and
simply be friendly.
But some of the clerks knew us well enough to know we had been gone and
I guess they couldn't think of anything else to ask...
I honestly don't think anyone was being malicious, just thoughtless.

At first, I knew that he didn't understand the question, but now that he
has enough English, he does understand.
Poor kid dutifully says "good" and everyone grins and is happy.
While I want to scream..."why should he like it here?"
Don't get me wrong...I'm glad he seems to be settling in just fine but
really!!??

Sorry, just needed to vent

Why?

Why would you ask a newly adopted, newly arrived to the US, 10 year old
boy....

Do you like it here?

Welcome Joseph

Tonite my SIL stopped by with a cake from DQ.
You should have seen the look on Joseph's face when he saw the
translation for "welcome".
When he found out the cake was made of ice cream....he almost decided
not to eat the "pig" we had been cooking all day. (he was really looking
forward to the pork BBQ sandwiches)

After a huge slice of cake I needed to take a pic of the blue face. He
told us they don't make cake like that in Chi*a.

Today when I was chopping up the pork I was muttering "ouch" when the
piece I was holding got too hot.
He started searching in the closet for some gloves for me to wear to
protect my hands....when he failed to find some. He pulled out the
leftover flannel from his shirt and proceeded to design some for me....
If we ever finish them I will need to share. I didn't have the heart to
explain that flannel will not work to great.

Tomorrow evening I have a date with DH! We asked Big Brother and
girlfriend to come and babysit. (Bribery works wonders)
And we are going to .....drumroll!!!

S*m's Club! Ah well, you take what you can get.

Mountain Pies

“Life is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like”- supposedly by Lemony Snicket I think that is what Youngest Brother thinks sometimes... Tonite we took advantage of the beautiful, but short day and cooked over the fire. Our mountain pies have- store-bought bread, ground beef, spaghetti sauce and mozzarella cheese. When the pie is finished it is like a toasted sandwich. The dessert ones consist of store bought bread, 4 marshmallow halves, chocolate chips and peanut butter. Youngest Brother never had them...but managed to consume 4....three with meat and one with the sweet stuff...plus pomegranates and ice cream. The evening ended with us playing M*nopoly Deal....new for us....I won... the game is a bit confusing yet, so it is not a game for the younger ones to play by themselves....a decision that did not bring joy to some of them.... Ah well, I'm a mean mom, what can I say? I think everything got smoothed out, but things were a bit wrinkly around here for a bit.

No Solutions and a Lot of Questions

The trip to Shriner's went well. On the 1-1/4 hour drive I was not sure what Youngest Brother was thinking, he was not talking or singing with the CD. I didn't know if I should again mention that we are only looking at his hand and feet today. But part of me was worried  that his  translation of looking  and the Dr's translation of looking would be two different things.
Of course he didn't think he was hungry when we left the house at 11 but when we arrived at the hospital at 12:10 he was suddenly very hungry! He was not all that impressed with my snacks...but we did survive.

Anyway we got x-rays. His feet and hands were poked and prodded...

Yes! his feet are ticklish!
Yes! all the bones are still in there!
Yes! his whole thumb is inside there!
Yes! he has his fingers in there too...up to the first joint!

Basically the doctors were very cautious about giving us too much hope for reconstruction of the feet, there are so many things to go wrong. BUT they took medical photos and are sending them out to other doctors and said they should have a good idea of the possibilities... next week
The one doctor told us that the first options that come to mind are amputation or reconstruction.

Problems--amputation is so final and we know that dealing with 2 prothetics for life will not be easy...do-able but not easy....plus, what if they come up with new therapy for nerves etc 5 yrs down the road?
Reconstruction--removing the scarring and putting the feet into walking position would leave a very large area to be covered by plastic surgery.  There is another treatment of slowly stretching everything...nerves, muscles and tendons, but there are a lot of unknowns with that...and we would hate to put him through months...years of treatment and still end up with prosthetics.

His hand looks like the easiest treatment...but for now I am praying that some wise advice will be forth coming and we can see this boy running and jumping someday

We also saw the prosthetic people and they re-enforced the part of his prosthetic that was breaking and had many ideas for improving his prosthetics if we take that route. He also stands very crooked when he stands upright and they can improve that too.

We tried to explain things as we went along, but were not sure how much he was really understanding. When we got home, the other kids were asking what we found out... I started explaining and Little Brother put his foot up on a chair and made a slicing motion along his leg and motioned that we could put his foot right back into place.....I PRAY you are right,  young man.

So if you think about it this week, pray that the right Dr will see the information and have advice for our doctors.

Prayers for Tomorrow

Thursday afternoon we get an opinion on the possibilities for Youngest
Brother's feet and hand.
We will be visiting Shriner's in the afternoon...hopefully they can help
us out with the prosthetic that is breaking too.
Tonite when I told Youngest Brother that the doctor will be looking at
his hand too. He said "no look" I said "yes, they will look at your hand
too."
He said " no...and made cutting motions over his hand"
I assured him that they are just looking tomorrow...but hmmm, wonder
what is going on in his mind...is he happy to just leave things the way
they are....what has he been told about surgery? Or is he making his own
assumptions?

I guess that is something else to start praying about.

Wow! What a Weekend!

Guess I should just say "what an evening"
Last night we went to hear a small choir from a certain country...the
children were all orphans and they had a Message to tell in a language
only one of our family could understand.
(maybe I'm being over-cautious, but I do not want to jeopardize their work)
He cried during the first song- Amazing Grace and I was sitting there
wondering if we made a mistake to come to the church. Was he homesick
for familiar faces or was it the message?
He sang along with the songs that were native and mostly entertaining,
but cried during the ones with a Message.
The little girls kept asking "Why are you crying mommy and why is he
crying ?"

If tears are healing, we are getting there.

Today we visited the 4th grade class at school (hopefully his class one
day). Anyway, the teacher had them write things for which they were
thankful, on pumpkins. Today, they were to write a person they were
thankful for.
I tried to explain to Youngest Brother what they were doing...he
listened while each student told the class what they had
written....sister....grandparents....friends
Then I knew he "got it" when he leaned over to me and said "Daddies
and mammas"

Thankful

I'm trying to be thankful.
I should be thankful that I noticed, today, that the food in the big chest freezer was not quite as frozen as usual.
I should be thankful that we found a chest freezer without searching all afternoon. When your food is thawing in the freezer you don't have a lot of time to comparison shop.
I am thankful that the agency awarded a grant after we were home (though I was hoping to put that toward the loan)
I am thankful that the problem the van is having "might" be covered under warranty. I really want to take a picture when that odometer hits 222,222.
I am thankful that two of my kids are playing Mon*poly and haven't been fighting...yet.
I am hoping those goofy test results come back on Mon morning and aren't anything to worry about. (surely blood in the stools can't be THAT bad)
I am thankful that tonite is "fall backward" and we get an extra hour of sleep... I need to get to bed before 11.

Thank You for the Shirt Mama.

I have been working on a few manners Youngest Son came with "Thank you"
and "Sorry".
I was very impressed, he uses them often, but the word "please"
apparently was not in the English classes.
Somehow it just...goes against the grain when someone sits down at the
breakfast table while I am whirling around making sure things happen in
time...and some one loudly demands "water!"
So last week I told him "Mama no hear 'WATER'. Mama hears 'water, please
mama'"
He got the point and actually caught himself and corrected his request
this morning.

Anyway, about the shirt, we saw some delightfully soft flannel at a nice
price the other day. I asked if I shall make a shirt for him... the
answer was "yes". It took a week or so, but here are the results.
Don't look too closely, it has been awhile since I made a shirt, but he
wore it last evening and came down this AM wearing it (don't think he
slept in it) At lunch he said "Thank you for the shirt mama"

Of course dear...I had to restrain myself from rushing out the door and
buying more fabric...actually that would give me an excuse to go fabric
shopping again.

A Giveaway!

No not mine...but jump over to HERE and take a look at Connie's blog. She is giving away a nice camera...
just add to their adoption fund with the Chip-in button...
and take a few minutes to read about their family
They have been working hard to raise the funds for this next adoption.

Making Memories

Earlier this week Youngest Brother told me that he "no zoo" "friend zoo,
Sister zoo" "me- no zoo" He indicated his legs as the reason he did not
get to go to the zoo. We had understood that he had gone to the zoo ,
but he told me it was only on TV.
So even thought the season is practically over we decided to hope that
the weather forecast was correct and go to the ZOO!
The temps were a little cool, the elephants had gone to stay at another
zoo, and the Big Cat's were mostly "closed for renovations" BUT
the Lego display was still present, the otters were active, the
penguins did their strut, the baby giraffe was delightful, and the
monkeys were swinging. Oh and the snakes were active late in the day.
We hiked around the zoo until his legs were tired.
The best animals were the tigers and the snakes
The McD's $$ menu did the job on the way home.
Today he was asked for a list of 10 toys he would like and he could only
come up with one!
And he said something about liking his mama more than a lot of toys.
More Memories to come!

It's Not Fair!

My mom used to tell me "well life just isn't fair"
Yes, mom you are right.
But does it have to be so hard?
Today youngest son found the He*s trucks that big brother has
accumulated in his 19 years, I couldn't let him play with them...big
brother didn't even play with them...he wanted to keep them nice.

We had tears again today..."me no car"
me: " but you have cars under your bed"
YS: "they no go (they're matchbox)

All the while I'm thinking inside...just how do I tell him that I want
to buy him the newest Hes* truck that should come out this year...but at
Thanksgiving. I want to buy him a whole store full of cars, trucks,
etc. but is it good? is it the right thing to do?

Today I bought 3 yo-yo's, he chose the best one for himself but they did
not live up to expectations.
I bought 2 new basketballs, one for big brother and a youth size for the
two younger boys...but that's sharing.

It was not right that a boy could live somewhere for 10 years and not
own ANYTHING!

He told me today he did have a ball, but "friend" grabbed it away.

I tried to explain that the other boys got their toys slowly over the
years and he will too,but our language is just too limited.

Or should we just have a huge party and give him his heart's desire? But
will that live up to his expectations?...his yo-yo's don't quite measure
up because he can't do the same tricks the hero's on the Chinese TV
shows performed.

I know not that many people read this... but does anyone have any ideas?

Ten Year Old Tycoon

The new fun game at this house is Mon*poly. At first I just hated when they pulled out this game...the language barrier...the arguments...the competition....

I am guilty of hiding the game a few times. Not very well I'm afraid.

The last few days there is hardly any language barrier when it comes to playing. He can read most of the cards well enough to know if he is getting $100 or needs to pay $100. If he is suspicious that it is a bad card and no one is looking he will slip to the bottom of the pile and pull a new one. But all in all he understands the rules pretty well.
I figure it is helping his math, reading, and English. We have added "yes sir!" "double" "jail" and others

Last night big sister and youngest brother started a game and left it lay until this morning. After I dropped the big ones off at school. He decided that the game must go on.
Little sister, came to me and asked "why is brother talking to sister and she isn't there?"

Anyway needless to say his number of properties increased very quickly and his pile of $$ did the same....
I came in to take the picture...he said "wait mama" and quickly lined up all the money and property deeds and then posed for the next picture.

Meet the American Dream....it also involves 10 yo-yo's and a  blue bike helmet with matching knee pads, a car that climbs walls, a watch and a whole list written in Mandarin.

Learning to Know You

You have good memories of popcorn...translated means "exploding corn flower" makes sense.
You told me to add salt...let it pop a little more then add sugar.  "Very Good!"
       we need to try that
You told me "in China, much with one money"   (can buy a lot of popcorn with little money)
No microwave popcorn....smart people...it's much better in a kettle.
   
You left me pull a tooth last night, you got a quarter for it. (sorry we aren't rich)
    But what happened tonite? Mama and daddy will not pull a tooth unless you ask us to. I thought you understood that.
You drew me a picture of your China house...there were two...one for cold days and one for hot days.
The one for cold days seemed big, but you said "just downstairs, no up"
The house has scallops (wooden?) along the roof line, the roof was red and there were blue lotus type flowers painted just below the scallops.

I am taking the Social Workers advice and am backing off on "lessons" and concentrating more on drawing...explaining feelings (gotta work on that)

Today was a good day...at least I thought so until tonite...I'm still confused.
If anyone knows of superstitions about loose teeth or pulling teeth, please let me know....he has 6 loose baby teeth that he is alternately protecting and complaining about.

More Firsts

Today we found a nice hefty package in the mail. The Chinese English
Bible we had ordered. Youngest Brother had been complaining that
everyone else has a Bible, but he does not. We quite honestly did not
know which version to order...anyway after some research we ordered a
NIV English and Chinese New Union (I think that is the proper term) on
Sat night.
He was very delighted when he opened the package...I did have some
misgivings on the way in the drive...what if he is disappointed that it
is only a "book". He was delighted that his is the biggest Bible in the
house...I didn't have the heart to show him Big Brother's or the Family
Bible....we'll let that go.

After lunch he got busy catching up his Sunday School lessons...and
wouldn't you know the story of Joseph is scheduled for Nov 7 so I had
him read ahead...that is what he is reading in the picture. He likes
this translation better "Joseph is a fruitful vine..."

Also tonite was haircutting night...I left him watch the others....he
wanted me to cut an X in his hair...I told him it is a Z...then he
wanted a J. Humph! there are no letters in his hair!
The only picture that turned out half-decent is this one. The others
look as if he is crying...he is actually laughing
hysterically/nervously. He is very ticklish. He told me "in China rrrr"
and made quick cutting motions.

Lest it sounds as if everything is going along very smoothly....we have
our times....
He does not like a challenge...math is fine if it is
easy enough to get all of them right.

He tests to see if I really mean "get in the van, we
are going" He moves faster now. I went out to the van and had it running
before he managed to get out the door.

Yanking the cart rudely when mom doesn't buy
something he wants...I have been ignoring that one for now.

The competition between him and little sister is
tiresome....she tattles and is bratty (my words) and he is irritated
that someone half his age is learning the same things as he....they are
about at the same level in reading right now....well he can sound out
simple words, but she knows what they mean.

The thing I thought I was prepared for....slurping any
food....is getting on my nerves...petty I know, but I am too human.

Research

We are waiting out appointment at Shreiner's Hospital and I am anxious to see what they have to say about Youngest Brother's feet and hand.
Last night my husband was looking for some before and after pictures online so we could show in pictures what we are trying to explain in Chinglish.
I haven't wanted to start explaining until the doctors have actually taken x-rays and have a slight idea what they will be attempting.
Anyway we searched and all the "articles" that we found were in some medical journal that charges $31.50 to view a single article...
But we did find this about a little girl in Nepal
I read through the other doctor's advice and did not feel too great, but read to the bottom and load the video, plus this was 2004  hopefully in the last 6 years they have come up with something.
I did find another printout for missionary doctors, but that was not for anyone with a weak stomach.

Life

Sorry about the photos first and then the text, but sending an e-mail
is just faster for this old brain.

We needed a family picture for the SW on Friday, it is hard to have 8
people dressed and combed and feeling smiley all at the same time. So we
picked 10 PM on a Sunday night. Out of 4 pictures taken by my son's
obliging girlfriend we have at least one that is half-decent. ( It
wasn't your fault Glenda) Joseph for some reason needed to be a ham on
every picture, at least this one only looks like "deer in the headlights"

The other day our good friends Jen, Olivia and Natalie came to visit and
Joseph took a liking to Nat. She did live in the same SWI, but I doubt
they knew each other.

Little sister decided to do her homework at supper time the other night.
I need to talk to the K teacher about the assignments (reading pages of
the dictionary?) Really now, Miss B.

Last but not least, when we were in China we did not buy too many
souvenirs this time, but we did want something for the boys. Tea sets
just didn't seem quite right, but when we saw rip-sticks for $16 we
decided to see if we could get them home w/o Mr. Nosey's figuring out
what was in the package. We lugged the 2 rip-sticks through the 3
airports all wrapped together in a rice bag and duct-tape. The handle we
fashioned was from plastic raincoats braided together (should've taken a
picture)
Anyway they DID figure it out, but they were surprised that there were 2
boards in the package...
They seem to be pretty good quality and the wheels light up when you go
fast enough.
Joseph was pretty determined to try them, but his prosthetics do not
have ankle joints so he has problems getting the balance he needs.

We have an appointment Nov 11 at Shr*ner's in Phila. One day I hope he
has good ankles and I will buy 10 rip-sticks...and 10 helmets, and 10
sets of knee pads....

Grief

Well just when I thought there would be no grieving...today it came.
Brought on by a math problem 40/2 =
I know it wasn't about math.
I'm just glad little sister was in school, so we could cry together.
Then you made me coffee (somebody was observing)
I will do my best to find your "Younger Brother"

Love Mom

Firsts...

Today my brave new son had his first dentist's visit. He was not very enthused about it and when he finally sat on the chair he held his hands over his mouth.
I got out the translator and started talking.
He was worried about "pain"
Big surprise...isn't everyone
I hesitated to assure him "no pain" because I wanted to be entirely truthful and how did I know if he had sensitive teeth?
So I told him this is very important and bad teeth cause pain.
He consented finally and we discovered the reason for his discomfort in eating some things...he has about 5 loose teeth!
He carefully guards them and does not wiggle them...I have no idea what he was told before.
We even got x-rays and everything looks good with only "a watch on #14" whatever that means.
He even got his teeth cleaned, but I drew the line at the fluoride treatment...he was finished sitting.

Then we went to McD*nald's for lunch...hopefully he doesn't get the idea we do that every time we go into that town....

Our Sunday Afternoon Walk

Weather in the Commonwealth of PA was BEAUTIFUL today!
After church we took a walk in a nearby development and discovered a
wealth of wildlife...according to our newest son....the grasshoppers
were good roasted on a stick. When I offered to make them for supper he
respectfully declined.

Naming Your Child

When we received our first approval for our son...we used his Chinese
name when referring to him... I couldn't give him a name from me at that
point...there were too many unknowns.

Then finally we had final approval and the name search was on....we had
kicked names around, but knew that we needed to keep his original name
(or most of it) and then add a name from us. We wanted a Bible name,
like our other kids, but it had to sound right with his Chinese name.

We looked at meanings a little bit, but mostly just decided "does it
sound right"

We agreed on "Joseph" I must say it was not my first pick, but I
figured we will probably stick with the Chinese name which by now was
the name that flowed off my tongue when I spoke of him.

We met him and asked if there was a nick-name...no, they always used his
full name...akk! my mom only used my full name when I was in trouble! So
we shortened it to just his given name...and he was with us a day or
two before we had the guide tell him about his additional names....he
tried them out...but when asked a few days later, he preferred the
shortened Chinese name we had been calling him.

"no problem" that's what I've been calling him all along.

We get home... and we asked again, because he had been asking "momma -
ming-zu?" or "Momma, what's your name?" (what's my name?) so after
awhile he remembered and said "me, Joseph."

We used the translator and asked which name he preferred and he said
"Joseph"

OKAAAY, so now I'm using both names....

Then the other night I showed him the character for Joseph in the Bible
Story Book (written in Mandarin) He grabbed the translator and entered
the characters...gave theatrical moans...and pointed to the
translation...."shivering whisper"

Oh boy!

So we got on the computer and pulled up the English translation of
Joseph....means "The Lord will increase"

Not sure if he is convinced that we had the English meaning in mind
(cause we really hadn't looked it up).

I need to find out from someone, how they translate those old Hebrew
names into Mandarin characters...is is by phonetic sound or do they take
meaning into account.

Thankfully "shivery whisper" is in bed...he decided tonite was the night
to make shoes for one of the dolls...more on "James-boy" (doll's new
name) later...and his tape and fabric shoes.

Oh, about the picture...after days of rain...we saw a sun-dog...I think
I will just call it another rainbow.