VBS, Birthdays, and Respect

This week started last Saturday, DH and I were in charge of the church's community cook-out. That is--this was our 3rd year on the committee and it was our turn to take responsibility. It was stressful until it started, then it was fun. We served about 170 people...not really that many, but considering you don't really know how many people are going to show up--you prep for a few more than last year and be thankful that the local grocery store is open on a Saturday evening.

Then we had a week of VBS, this year I only served as a substitute. Hope,Joe and Zeke each had jobs throughout the week. The teacher that worked the hardest was the lady who had the craft station for the older kids. She had them doing the two above crafts. I think I will do a few of those light houses and put them on the front porch. The candle is coffee and cinnamon, I didn't burn it yet cause this week was just too warm to think of burning candles.

Shekinah turned 7! Today I signed up for a store courtesy card and the clerk asked if anyone in our household is 60 or older and she piped up, " I'm 7!"  I shushed her and after we got outside she said, "but that lady wanted to know if anyone in our house was 6  or older!"

I've been pondering things lately ...so  at what point are our children  able to make big decisions? I always sort of thought it was an easy stage, they sort of grow up, you give them more decisions- do you want to do your homework first or set the table?

 They get their first job- do you want to apply here or there? 

Then their own bank accounts 

Can you balance your own accounts?

Do you need a debit card?

Easy and gradual right?

So when...well like, when your kid is young you might have a rule that they need to fix their bed, or that they need to eat breakfast or put away their clothes....You tell them and they do it, if they don't, 

usually the force of your displeasure has them taking care of things.

But at what age do you let them just ...I don't know....go to bed in a messy bed, go to work hungry, not brush their teeth, not study for that final exam, not bother to balance their check book...forget to go to work?

Where are the lines?

What if natural consequences don't seem to bother them?

How do you make it matter?

There is a point when you can't make your child do things...it actually starts when they are quite young. You might think you can make a child eat something or 

you can make them be potty trained....but....

it really comes down to relationship

that bond you build from day #1

The connection that builds from repeatedly feeling good when mommy's eyes light up when she looks at me and daddy's voice has that special sound when he talks to me.

(I'm enjoying watching Hudson start to interact with us, but his strongest connection is with his mommy)

That strong connection with his parents is what gives a child his concept of God and allows a child to absorb his parents ethics. Whatever daddy says is the truth! Whatever mommy gives me is good!

That is the connection that gives the child the trust he needs to usually try some new foods and eventually want to be potty trained.

Respect comes in there too....you do not demand respect from a child, you earn it...yes I know you can require a child to use respectful words, but you can not make them respect you.

Think about the people you know...why do your respect them..or not?

Is it because they demanded it?

So back to absorbing parents ethics and following rules...is it worth WW III over fixing your bed?

I think not

What about taking care of your physical body?

I don't know

Which laws of safety are negotiable?

Which of our ethics are engraved in stone?

(Just for clarity, not all of these things are things we have experienced--just some ponderings)