Fear

With older child adoption, you just never know when a situation will
strike fear. It can look like stubbornness or manipulation. But fear can
show up so unexpectedly.
When we first started going to Shriner's he would gasp and look away
when we crossed over a certain bridge. After a few months he now looks
out over the railing at the river. He even said "I'm not scared anymore."
So that's the last of fear when we are driving?...umm  no....

Tonite we decided to enjoy this beautiful day and go for a hike at a
local lake.  As we drove around the lake there was one point where you
could look out over the water. The sun reflected from the water and the
boats zipping around. BEAUTIFUL! right?  umm...no...

I heard a gasp from the back, I turned around to see fear behind a half
grin.  "I'm scared."

I wasn't sure if it was our height or ...was he joking?

When we parked and everyone piled out, eager to hit the playground and
the hiking trail.  One young man stayed sitting in the van. Tears...

Yup, it was fear.
We tried to find out, fear of the water....we're not going in....fear of
walking that far....it's a gentle slope....
What?

We persuaded him to get out and at least come to a bench beside the
small play area.

























He watched the boats and the small waves from the wakes and the
little kids wading in the water....


After half an hour he walked over to me, "Mom, it's not fun, what can I do?"

I held up two fingers..."you have two choices, you can stay sitting here
or look around and focus on what you CAN do. You decide."

Well he decided to check out the play area and soon his sisters were
begging to go down to the water.
I told him it is up to him, he can stay on the bench, move to a closer
bench, or come with us....(three choices this time)
He followed at a cautious distance and soon this is what you would have
seen if you had been with us!

Now what caused that fear?  I have a bit of a notion it was the video
footage he had seen of the tsunami in Indonesia, because he wondered if
the people were going to die that were out in the water.  I am so glad
we took him to this lake before we made a trip to the ocean. And, Oh so
glad we did it as a family and not a field trip from school or something.

But best of all he discovered a new fun thing....wet sand and waves!

And we learned that life holds many surprises....