Crossing the Rubicon

If you are like me, I had no idea what that saying meant, before Friday afternoon. But Joseph was doing some history homework and mentioned it and told me that it referred to Julius Ceasar crossing a river. I asked if he knows what the saying meant.

We discussed the idea of thinking carefully before we made life changing decisions, like getting married, or having children (esp adoption). While I was saying that, he muttered "I should not have signed my name at adoption. Or maybe I should have."

I asked if "crossing the Rubicon" was a bad thing for Julius Ceasar...he admitted "no"
"Well marriage, or adoption is not a bad thing, but needs to be thought out carefully because there is no going back. Like throwing a rock, or saying words, they can't be brought back."
Then I remembered an object lesson that this mom http://minichfamilyblog.blogspot.com/ used on her blog one day. I took a piece of paper and told him to crumble it up into a little ball. After much looking back and forth between me and the paper (still does not trust me when I tell him to eat all of it or do something odd like this) he finally crumbled it up.

Then I asked if he thinks he can smooth it out like it was before...he said "sure". Well after a little bit, he asked if he can use the iron. "yes go ahead" ( In my mind I'm wondering if he knows what he is doing.- He didn't - "how do you turn this thing on?")
So I watched as he ironed..."it's not hot enough" touched it "ohh, ouch"

Then I told him that the paper is like words that you say...feelings that you hurt....promises that you make (crossing the Rubicon)...you can say "I'm sorry, or I forgot, or I changed my mind" but the wrinkles will stay...Only God can make them disappear or be forgotten.

Last night after a situation that I didn't handle correctly (forgot the gloves) and he again said he should run away. We prayed and I apologized...was allowed to give a kiss, but didn't get one in return....later DH advised me to stop by Joe's bed, he has a kiss...so I did and then he asked..."Is the paper smoothed out now?"

I was honest...."Almost, but mama still can feel some wrinkles"