guess this will do..some of us looked nervous...just before Faith arrivedAbout 4 weeks ago, someone from church approached us and asked if we would be willing to give a short talk about adoption....some Wednesday evening...very short service....
I teach CPR classes and an occasional adult ladies Sunday School class,but DH says he does not do public speaking...
Well, long story short...he does and we did and he did a very good job. Made his sons a bit nervous,but that is our job!
Since the 3 youngest kids decided to come along...at first they asked "mom are you going to cry?...then I don't want to come" But curiosity won and they were sitting in a row on the 3rd to front bench.
We talked about our personal journey, about the need...you know the # of children that need families
The validity of adoption according to Jesus and even the Old Testament scripture. I talked about loss..how even though we often thing of adoption as a win-win situation...it really is not. Then of course the stumbling blocks that Satan will throw in our way...and finished with describing the different ways you can help a child...from sponsorship to fostering to adoption.
And since there was a virtual corn field of children in the crowd I handed out a paper with comments that we adoptive parents hear, but never know quite how to respond...that is of course until after the commenter is miles away. So here are the comments and my smart aleck answers
These comments are sort of tongue-in-cheek. I don’t feel at all like this congregation has ever even used any of these questions to us. However, I know I used these exact statements without thinking twice, that is, until I was the adoptive parent. So just for your information….
Real Parents= the ones who blow your nose, hold the bucket when you are sick, care if you fall off your bike…they’re not fake.
How many children do you have of your own? We didn’t steal them, they are all legally ours. OR in a way, none of our children are ours…they are all on loan from God.
Ohhh! You want to know how many times I gave birth! You could ask “How many children do you have?” How many times have you adopted?” If you are interested in adoption…say so.
How could I love a child I didn’t give birth to? Did you give birth to your spouse?
What about bloodlines? Read Ken Ham’s “One Blood” The ideas of ‘races’ and different blood is from Darwin and he is responsible for the theory of evolution. Now that is not saying that genetics might produce a child that is very different in temperament than you or your husband. Yes, that can be stretching, but who couldn’t do with a little stretching?
After all you did for him/her! Really- compared to what God has done for us….we’ve done NOTHING.
Are they sisters? You will usually get the answer “they are now” from me. I know what you are asking, but think about how it sounds to my daughters/sons when their relationship is questioned. The burden of the response is mostly on my shoulders. I need to learn to respond/react in a positive way.
“What kind of mother could abandon their child?” As a mother I sometimes ask that question too. BUT I have never been faced with the decisions that some mothers are faced with. What if I had no church, no family and no husband to help me? What if my child was born with a birth defect and in order to repair it, the hospital demands the funds up front? Until we walk in their shoes, we don’t know what kind of mother we would be.
How to handle the ‘horror’ stories- I struggle with the conversations that go like this, “ Did you hear about ______’s son….he’s adopted.” Then usually the story goes on to tell a tale of misdeed. I’m not sure how to handle that. Does it make a difference how the son entered the family? Should people preface stories about our eldest son with “ Did you hear about Ray’s son Demetrius? He was c-section…”
To the child or to me “You are so lucky ( to have these parents)” Do you ever tell a re-married widow/er that they are ‘lucky’ to get to marry again? We as the parents feel blessed to be able to have the chance to parent our children.
Do you have any to add?