The Fatherless....

Today I taught the adult ladies Sunday school class. Even though the lesson was on Joseph's (the one in the Bible) escape from Potiphar's wife, I decided to do a belated Orphan Sunday message. I almost backed out on Saturday, I was afraid, afterall who doesn't already know this? Then I decided, "what if, someone makes a life changing decision for one of those children, one of those 143 million?

First I did a word search on "fatherless"  Oh my! God has some tough words for people that hurt the fatherless and the weak.



OK how many people are in 143 Million? You can go here to see. Or you can figure about  1/2 of the population of the US.

There are about 500,000 children in the foster system in the US. Sometimes that number goes up to 800,000.  For those of you that live in PA. Lancaster county has about 502,000 people living there.

129,000 of those children are actually waiting to be adopted....that is equal to twice the number of people in Lancaster City.

While adoption is God's Plan B for children. We live in a broken world and the children are the ones who suffer first and there are plenty of children who are already on Plan B. God needs people whose Plan A is to follow God's lead in how we should be involved with the hurting children of this world.

There is plenty of work for everyone. First off we should be praying....

For the people that make the decisions at the government level...

For the people that are making the decision to move ahead and adopt or foster children

For those who already are in the day to day job of rearing children who were hurt in the past

The list goes on....Praying for the fatherless could be a full time job.

If you know God wants you to be involved a bit more...
And I really think all people who claim to be Christians should be involved more....there is sponsorship...There are many good organizations that have sponsorship programs, some for medical conditions, some to help the children go to school and some to just see that the children have a good meal once a day.  There are even ways that you can donate to the adoption expenses of a certain child at Reece's Rainbow Anyone that reads this blog can come up with $25 a month....even if it means beans and rice for dinner one night a week!  Just take the $25 out of the grocery money BEFORE you go to the grocery store.

Then there is Safe Families  a way to help families here in the States to stay together. An ounce of prevention and all that....

Foster care...may nearly rip your heart out some days, but it is a necessary link for survival for some children.

And most involved is adoption...I was challenged by a speaker one time....we Mennonites are grateful for our Heritage...we mention it a lot...and it has stood the test of time...most of us are not afraid to roll up our sleeves and get a job done. We have a history of helping each other and the "world" when disaster strikes most of us have sent loved ones to volunteer for cleaning up and rebuilding. And "the Mennonites" for the most part are pretty successful.... "God is helping us."

BUT!!!? why is God giving success???!!! 


Anyway....my whole point about the Heritage....if it is so great...why not share it??

People often say...but it costs so much!  And it does. No one signs any papers for free. But my husband says it is a mindset....a lot of people would not think twice about paying $20,000 for a new car...and there is nothing "wrong" with that, but you can't take a car to Heaven...
  
OK this is long enough and mostly was for me spit out the rest of my "speech"  I did not say all that I wanted this morning...there simply was not enough time. But maybe one lady went home and talked to her husband....maybe next time I will need to discuss the "Reluctant Husband" syndrome. No, this thing we speak of, does NOT make sense, if you look at it logically...but there is a verse in Proverbs about "simple things confounding the wise"

 No, these little ones are no longer orphans, but I'm not really allowed to show pictures of those that still are.

God's Stop Signs

This whole adoption has been one step of faith at a time.

The first one when we sent in the LOI. We didn't qualify (income). We also didn't know if we were just reacting to a cute face and personality (there was video). Was he really the right kid for our family? I never looked at lists for our other adoptions. I was very happy to let someone else do the matching.

So we filled in the LOI knowing that we did not qualify and prayed "God please stop this adoption if it is not your will"

In the five weeks we waited, my heart didn't know which way to lean...relief...OK the answer is "no". Now we can get on with life as we know it.

But what then?What was in store for that little boy?

So we reminded God again...

Well, we got the PA, we got the home study, we got the I-8**, the fingerprints went wonderfully.

Originally we thought we would travel in June or July and when the wait stretched I became impatient.

But THEN I looked at plane ticket prices!  Ouch! OK God, now we know why we are waiting.

Last Monday morning I went online and checked the plane tickets again $777 round trip!!

I prayed "God this is the time, you know our finances better than we do"

That evening about supper time I got the call "your TA is in"

We also were working through another "problem". Our 19 y.o. would really like to travel with us again BUT he has a job and is taking college courses part-time.Was this the right thing for our son?  The boss was on vacation for a whole week and we waited for his decision. Finally Saturday AM the boss reluctantly said "OK". 

We had already agreed that if Big brother goes along he will come home after the Be*jing portion of our trip (10 days in our case).  

I was not really happy about putting my oldest son on a plane all by himself (yes I know there are a couple hundred other people on there too) in an airport in a foreign country.

Well Mon morning I got up and called the airline to confirm our tickets and order Big Brother's round trip ticket for the shorter version.

We confirmed all the tickets  $1081 including taxes and booking fees. Then we got to Big Brother's and his ticket price comes to:

$3551

GULP!   Ummmm.....Is that a stop sign God?

We decided that was a stop sign. It didn't make anyone real happy, but I do feel a calmness about our decision and Big Brother is OK with it. Did I ever mention he is a great kid? (Thanks Dude! I do love you)

Two Little Letters

Alright, I've kept it in long enough....we have TA!!! It's driving me nuts though, we don't have confirmation on the Consulate appointment so I can't buy plane tickets yet. I'm sure that every day we wait the prices will be going up! I refuse to look at the sites and check!

Our tentative travel date is Sept 7th, which is the day I had jokingly been telling people when they kept asking "when are you going?"  I feel as though I'm frozen in place...I want to fill all the suitcases, but  I need/want to get those tickets off my list.

I know God has this under control, and His timing is perfect. I'm just hoping I'm not missing some cue here.

What To Do While You Wait for A TA

This was probably the longest week of my life....well maybe when I was overdue with one of the boys was longer.
So in order to pass the time...
I made three dresses....  well that is just two of them...I gotta work on my counting skills

I canned 28 quart of peaches......

Let grandma put a quilt in the frame in our basement..... it's for one of the bunk beds. It is for the penguin lover in our family.
I will need to post pictures of all the quilts when they are finally finished. All four beds will sort of match, but each quilt will have  a bit of individuality.

I certainly hope next week brings news or I may start painting or cleaning closets.

You've Probably Adopted Internationally If...

Got the idea from Tongu Momma's blog today... I don't think I duplicated
any of hers, but read her list too. We need to smile during this wait.

You've probably adopted internationally if....

You have been fingerprinted more often than most criminals.....

If you know there is a trade show in April and October in Guangzhou and
you have NO desire to be there for the show.

You know what "A Red Thread" is.

You know what "A Hundred Best Wishes Quilt" is.

You know what someone means when the talk about "The White Swan"

You needed to make one or more visits to the SS office to prove you
child is really yours.

You forget that the Hague is also a city in the Netherlands. (look it up)

If you carried a hot water thermos to mix bottles.

If you are not sure if you child was a preemie or her exact date of birth.

If you know that IA does not always mean Iowa.

If you hate explaining AGAIN that...no we haven't met him, and no, we
can't talk to him before we actually meet him the day before adoption.

If you child says "Mom I wish I knew my story" and you wish there was a
way to find it.

If you met your new child in a room with multiple other families doing
the same thing.

If you know that an I-797 is NOT an airplane.

If you smile when you see a family whose skin colors do not "match".

Did I miss any? Add yours

Right on Time

The warned me 4 years ago about

The questions

The birth dad question

She is 8, that is what they said... around 8 they will put it together.

Tonite she said...."I never saw my birth mother"
I said "well, you don't remember if you did....most people don'tremember that long ago."

Later while reading her Life Book
"Did I have a dad?"

I pointed to her daddy sleeping on the sofa.
"No, a birth dad"

"yes, dear, everyone has a birth dad and a birth mom"

"But Kay doesn't"
"No, but she isn't M____'s birth mom either"
"oh"

"Do they miss me?" (after we looked at the page with the nannies)
"They say the nannies remember the pictures, we need to send an updated picture."

"my mom?"
" My dear, I don't think a mommy would ever forget that she had a baby. "

"I remember her, I saw a picture on the computer"

Oh my...I was afraid she would think those crowd pictures held an important person.

I explained that those pictures were taken 3 years after she was living
with us, by a friend from that city. Then she found the lady she was
remembering...it was the orphanage director.

I can't remember all that we said....she noticed my tears...my sadness 

that I couldn't answer her questions very well....                     

The last page in her Life Book reminds her that she should always ask mommy or daddy if she
has questions, or if someone else asks questions that she can't answer.

Later in bed...she told me about a girl at school that ALWAYS asks "Are
you Asian or Chinese or what?" 

She complained about this girl before...
thing is...this little girl wears hearing aids and cries if someone asks
about her hearing! or says..."you hurt my feelings."

Growing up suddenly seems harder than when I was doing it.

I'm a Guest

The other week Moms, Ministry, and More asked me to write on the topic "What Adoption has Taught Me". I was honored to be asked. I really don't know much....I think she just asked me because I opened my mouth (always gets me in trouble)  any way go visit her site here and check out my post for the day. Read her earlier guest writer (Mon I think) her post was very good.

Four Years Ago!

Four years ago we met a precious little girl in a Civil Affairs office in Guan*hou. We had received her photos the end of January and then some updated photos a few weeks later. We had stared at...cried over....those pictures. We were very impatient to bring home little sister.

 

We noticed a slightly disturbing trait on all her pictures....she had her little hands in fists on-all-six-pictures.  I mentioned it to the SW and she answered "yeah I noted that too" so much for thinking it might be my imagination. We even asked the director if "Hua Mo" was developing normally....do her hands work?  The answer was not very comforting..."Oh Yes all baby's keep their hands in fists until they are about one year old, then they open their hands and start using them...."

Not really the answer I was looking for.

I remember discussing it with my husband..."I'm Ok with it ...I think...if she has a SN that we are not aware of...BUT it would be nice to be prepared....to look for a doctor awhile....
He just said..."I prayed for this little girl, it will be OK"

I mentioned something to family and one family member actually asked if we get a refund if she has a disability....WHAT!!! I almost asked her if HER parents got a refund because she turned out DUMB!!!  Thankfully God shut my mouth at the right time.

Anyway off we went with 4 children and a family friend (age 19) to meet the newest family member. Amazing trip!

Such happy children

We actually put 3 boys side-by-side in airplane seats and left them there for 16+ hours! and they didn't fight!! Definitely the hand of God.

That little girl that didn't know how to use her legs, when we stood her on our laps, she just collapsed, but when she finally
figured out how to walk at, 15 months, she decided to run!

We couldn't be happier with our Little Sister

We are so thankful that God guided the  "matcher's" hands and placed you with us.
 Edited to add:   Her hands are fine...she waved her fingers in front of her face (windshield wiper style) for about a month after she came to us, but I think that was an orphanage thing. She has no problems at all with her hands and is quite frankly a little ambassador....loving most everyone.

Memos

I don't have that many readers, so if you did not read A Place Called Simplicity, go read it now. I don't have a lot to add to that.

Also if you didn't read Fields of the Fatherless, go borrow or buy a copy and read it. We don't have any excuses to be sitting on our ummm...nice comfy chairs wondering what to do with our time.

 As to adoption, people say "well you just have something special, we couldn't do that" Let me tell you folks there ain't nothing special about us....in fact some days I'm shaking in my boots, 

some days I yell at my beautiful obedient children,

today I actually had sharp words with my husband. (That is unusual enough that it had everyone's attention)

 I am not always very patient or understanding, but thankfully God does not wait until people are perfect to give them a job to do. Otherwise, He would be waiting a long time. He simply is looking around for people to be willing to help out, yes, to step out of their comfort zone and He will do the rest.

Our story is by no means finished, it will be interesting how God unfolds our story. I don't plan on it being an easy journey, but it would be nice to be pleasantly surprised.

A quote from the Talmud, that I found in Fields of the Fatherless

A mother is likened unto a mountain spring that nourishes the tree

at its root, but one who mothers another's child  is likened unto a water that rises 

into a cloud and goes a long distance to nourish a lone tree in the desert.

It has been sent

Now I can wonder if he will ever get his book...I mailed it yesterday and had to fill our a customs form. I forgot about that part. I filled in "book" for the description, but then wondered who would open the package to check if it is a forbidden book. Will they look at it and toss it in a corner somewhere?  One more worry to lay at Jesus' feet, I simply can do nothing about it.

And here is another backpack...check the sweater bag tab to see the details.

Will He Even Like Us?

This weekend I decided we will send a photo album to Liang even if we don't have LOA. Our agency said we could send one right after we received PA, but we felt there were so many hurdles to jump at that point. Now that we have US approval I decided to find some pictures to send.....

           Much easier said than done! Think about it, if you got to chose what your family would look like? What would you pick?

 I looked at our pictures, it took about 3 hours to find the "right" ones, do we look friendly?

Are there too many of us, will he expect a mansion?

Will he wonder why we dress differently than other American's he's seen? 

I really hope he gets the book before we come, so he has time to adjust his thinking.

Someone asked me the other day, "So you set up this blog to keep in contact with him?"  How I wish!

 

So we look friendly or sort of tired and saggy? The light was bright and I think we were squinting a bit.

  

 The boys thought we should send snow pictures, I think he has probably seen enough snow this year in Beijing.

 

Big brother is not very scary, his little sisters think he is very nice. 

 

  

Yeah we could add another one in this group

  

Do they look too silly, or just plain cute?

We are adding a bunk bed in the boys' room, but I don't know how to find that phrase in Mandarin. DH is building the bed. (You can't see middle brother laying on the floor on the far side of the bed)....I told him to get out of bed or lay real flat so he doesn't show on the picture, he chose to roll out on to the floor. In bed at 8:30 on a Sat. hmph!

 

The girls' wanted their room featured too.

And Little Sister thought the "little living room" looks bare without her. A smile would have been nice.

I must admit I have not done any shopping for clothing or "things" for him yet. I work better under pressure, I'll wait till we are ready to travel :^)

Last but not least  HAPPY BIRTHDAY Liang! He is 10 today.

I really wanted to be DCT by his birthday, but....

State Seals

Yesterday, the temperatures were warmer than initially predicted and we had rain, not snow Yaaay! My sister-in-law and I drove to the state capitol with the aid of Wilbur (Big Brother's GPS). His British accent did not lead us astray.
We had $2 worth of quarters and it gave us a 40 minutes of parking. I was sure we would have to come back and feed the meter another hunk of quarters, ah well.

Walked into the office to be met by a friendly clerk who immediately guessed our reason for coming. Told us to take a seat. We didn't even get to leaf through a whole magazine and they called my name. They were finished, wish I could charge $195 for 10 minutes! (most of those jobs aren't actually legal).

We were out of the city before the time ran out in the parking meter. We did a little retail therapy before heading home. Just fabric store and Salvation Army thrift shop, but I've not been shopping much this winter.


After parent teacher conferences, where the teachers described children who do not live in our house, I arranged all those precious documents and their copies on the table to make sure I have 5 copies of everything. No, I don't think I need 5 copies, but you never know :^)

Mailed the 13 documents off to Legal-eaze this morning, they have a nice fee for processing, but I hear they are good. We could not decide if we wanted to save the $195 and wait 15-20 business days for our documents to be returned or pay someone to carry them to the consulate and have them back in decent time. After doing some praying about it DH decided we should do all in our power to keep these documents moving.

We are hoping to be DTC in the next 2 weeks!

Our I-797 !!

Lately all the important mail....checks, fingerprint appointments, bills :^( come in small envelopes. So I was looking through them hoping to see another envelope from US*IS. I was starting to feel disappointed until I noticed the return address on the BIG envelope. Somehow that one did not look official, but it WAS!!!

We have one more approval, one more piece saying we can be parents to Liang.
Tomorrow, Lord willing, my sister-in-law and I will drive to Harrisburg and get the state seals applied to the 13 documents that make up our dossier. The weather, of course, is iffy, so we will see if the temperature stays above or below freezing before we battle the traffic.

Patience my dear, patience