What I Learned These Last Two Weeks

I've been a mom for 20 years. I thought I'd learned pretty much about
taking care of children. Then God pulled out all the stops and gave us
Joseph. (I know our situation is minor compared to some, but I'm writing
this to help me remember and just in case someone else needs this info)
When we knew that he would most probably need to have his feet
amputated, we figured we would do the "big" surgery first and then maybe
a year later we would work on the hand. It made sense...get him
properly mobile then work on the "non-essential" limb (don't take that
wrong...it's just much easier to do without an arm than to be
non-weightbearing)
But, when we had a consultation with all involved doctors they suggested
the fixator on his arm first so we could determine the skin deficit and
possibly use the 'extra' skin on his feet for grafting on his arm. At
the time of the visit, we had 'plenty' of time to get the wrist into
position and hopefully remove the fixator at the time of the leg surgery.
Unfortunately, his arm just was not ready for grafting, his wrist wasn't
quite straight and we ended up with an 11 year old 80 pound boy that
had only one usable limb! and only 2 of them could get wet.
Now how do you move this child around? baths? bathroom? moving him from
chair to chair to bed?
This is what I learned: maybe it is written somewhere, but I wish I
would have had these hints earlier
When you are moving a child from bed to chair- bring them as close to
your body as possible. At first the nurse at the hospital told hubby to
lift him from the side...arm under legs and other around back...we soon
realized that will give us both bad backs within a day. A better
way--face him, squat, have him throw his good arm around your shoulders
and hold on....you grasp either a good handful of jeans-seat or upper
leg and lift. Basically holding him the same as you would a small
child belly to belly.
How to wash him--since it is summer time...I sit him outside, have him
slouch down in the wheel chair and tip his head back to wash his hair.
Use a plastic water pitcher to pour water over his head to wash off the
shampoo.
Use a washcloth to wash shirt area....
Send him to the bathroom to wash the private areas while sitting on the
open toilet. Those pre-moistened washcloths do a decent job in a pinch.
While we are in the bathroom....there is a right and a wrong way for
guys to use those urine bottles...take a look before you end up with a mess.
Dressing in a wheel chair is a challenge...now that he can slide over to
the sofa it is better, but at first he was afraid to do it on his
own....If he can get his legs in the pants...stand behind the wheelchair
and start pulling, and have him lean from one side to the other allowing
you to pull the pants up a bit at a time...undies work ok that way too.
If you have a choice, ask the doctors to put casts on just to the knees.
Even though I read some of your responses to him about love....he still
says he does not know what love is :^) and the other day he told me he
is having the worst summer ever....while I understand....
He does appreciate the many Hess trucks (another post one day- Wendy)
He is having fun with all the gifts people are sending
And he did admit to me the other day that this isn't as bad as he feared
it would be.
I do know that we are becoming the "king of things", but as you all know
eventually your 'things' become a burden and they turn on you....